My Beautiful Disaster

A pulled groin muscle is no fun, let me tell you. It’s not bad but it is sore. How’d it happen? There was a bench outside that looked like steel and I grabbed it to drag it over. Well, it didn’t budge. Right then I knew I pulled it because I wasn’t bracing for the fact that it wouldn’t budge. I ended up moving the bench some by bracing and pulling. That may not have helped. Apparently this bench is solid cast iron and heavy as fuck. Perhaps it’s solid steel which I believe weighs only slightly less. Regardless, this thing isn’t flimsy nor made of tubing.

Work was boring tonight. It was dead and I didn’t get any surprises tonight. I didn’t expect any though. I didn’t get a call either but that was expected. It sucks but that’s what I gotta do.

Tomorrow will be a fun day. Sarcasm much? I have to run to another city to a meeting. I’ll get a haircut too. I need one bad.

I don’t count on my Ms. Sexy X calling or anything tomorrow but it sure would be nice if she did. I hate these long droughts of silence but what can I do besides go to her? Nothing. I hate that, it’s so hard to do nothing. If she’d only say the word.

Rail, rain… close enough. It’s been raining since who knows when this morning. It’s varied from a light rain to heavy. I haven’t heard any thunder or anything. It’s 67 degrees supposedly, it’s damned cool. Normally, I don’t mind rain but that means I’m stuck inside and it’s depressive. I don’t need that right now. I’m supposed to be laying in the rain with my Ms. Sexy X. It’s bullshit that I’m here. Oy vey. How I wish, how I wish you were here.

I had a woman ask for a “Lex A R, One jigga-byte card.” I was soooo tempted to ask her if her car required 1.21 jigga-watts of power. I bit my tongue, like I do oft too much.

I saw a picture of an old man with a bird resting on his arm and then head. I couldn’t figure out how the hell he managed to get a bird to do that. He told me he raised the bird when it fell out of its nest. They keep it in the house every day and let it go every night and it comes back every morning. I thought that was really neat.

I don’t know what to do now. My chest hurts but not as much. It picks up when I go into work and I try to breathe and think happier thoughts which seems to help. I’ve resisted taking any aspirin thus far. I keep telling myself things will be alright. They will be but it just takes time… which is a bitch. I hate time - how it always works against us.

It doesn’t matter, it’s all whatever. She’ll say the word and I’ll be there. I just have to wait. And now I wait my whole lifetime, foooor yoooou.

Is it a faux pas for me to update this more than once a day? I don’t know. I don’t expect to normally do this. Who gives a shit?

I work at a big box retailer. Yeah, I know… it sucks. A job’s a job but it’s not what I want. What I want right now I can’t have so here I sit. It’s something while I wait.

Anyways, a large black man was there printing some pictures off. I was thinking this guy is some sort of athlete, you can tell. I snooped at what he was printing and I saw it was someone in a football jersey for an NFL team. Cool! It’s not every day you can meet an NFL player. I chatted with him for a few moments and asked his name and what position he played. He obliged and I told him my favorite team is the Steelers (all you haters can close your browser now!) and he joked his favorite was the 49ers before he went pro. Nice burn! He was nice and polite. I was impressed. I should have reminded him the Steelers have one more ring now than the 49ers but I’m sure he knows. ;-)

There’s this one crazy lady that comes in, this is the second time I’ve seen her. You can’t miss her, she totes around a dolly with 3 printer paper boxes bungeed to the dolly and a giant purse thing on top. You heard me! I have no idea why but it’s so scary that I laugh. A friend teased me because he thought those boxes were filled with pictures when I helped her the first time. They were not. Well she came back in today and I thought “Oh fuck, you have got to be kidding me.” She starts breaking down her dolly there and I see the boxes have a ton of pictures in them and I’m thinking “OH HELL NO!” The way she talks is very polite but strange. She’s not all there, I’m sure of it, but there’s no way I can be mean to her. I ask how many she needs help with. Only three pictures she tells me. I breathe a sigh of relief and get it done with. There was some initial confusion on how many of each but I just did it and she went along with it. For example I start and she’ll say “hold on now, hang on. I’m almost done, hold on.” She’ll ramble that as if I’m prodding her and I’m not. It’s weird. I helped her and then moved on. She kind of stood around messing with her stuff. Last time she kept trying to talk and she talked to some random old people who finally had enough and left. It was sad and funny at the same time.

I don’t get why some people are rude in general. This lady was using a machine for 2 hours. Whatever. But I’m closing down and I let one guy wait so he can print one picture off, I felt like being generous even though I could easily turn him away. Well, she starts a NEW order and makes him wait until the last minute. Granted, she planned on doing that fairly quick order earlier but she clearly heard me ask him how many he was doing and his response of 1. He ended up getting 2, but that’s neither here nor there. I know she isn’t obligated and I guess it’s not technically rude but I saw an opportunity to at least be courteous.

I can’t go a post without mentiong my love. Well, I suppose I can but not tonight anyways. I listened to Heart’s “Crazy on You” song. It’s stuck in my head. There are quite a few songs that both Ms. Sexy X and I love that remind us of each other. I won’t mention them yet, maybe not ever. It’s special to me so I don’t know if I want to share that. That’s our thing. We have a lot of those and the thought behind stuff like that makes it so much better. I can’t do a good job of explaining that but we both know and that’s all that matters.

I thought of her all day. I think of her every day. Is it a bad thing? Hell no. In fact, it’s awwwesome! True, I’m heart sick but I wouldn’t trade it for the world. The only thing that could be better is to actually be with her. That 30 minutes was not long enough and I find myself mulling over that. I’m trying not to but it’s probably going to be another week before I can talk to her. I miss her voice already. I miss her. She did sound wonderful tonight. Granted, it’s not as good as normal but she did sound good which always makes me happy.

Tonight I’ll probably just watch another episode of the Shield. I love that show. Too bad it’s over. I’m going to get a show called “True Blood” and start watching that. ;-)

Sometime I’ll have to work on my coupons. WHAT? You heard me! She got me into them. It’s actually as much fun as it is time consuming and it’s surely both. But it saves a ton of money which I have very little of. It’s just another thing I absolutely love about my Ms. Sexy X!

Here’s a link to that song before I forget.

http://www.youtube.com:80/watch?v=9Ipv2gb3rJI