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Busy Days Help

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

I was right, the 4th was so very hard on me. I had the day off and it just hit me. I tried cleaning to keep my mind off of it but I’d just breakdown over and over. I did manage to clean my incredibly messy room… I always let it go to shit when I tumble into depression. I just start throwing anything anywhere. Well, I was tired of the mess and it just further depressed me. I was intending to keep busy so I couldn’t think but I failed. Alas, I finally got it clean, my laundry all washed, the kitchen clean, and my bathroom clean. It felt really good despite the fact that I felt like shit. I ended up going over to a friend’s to play Call of Duty until 2AM. I got home and in bed by 3AM only to get up at 6AM.

Yesterday was much easier but not entirely better. The lack of sleep wasn’t fun. I was busy at work all day when my boss sprung a surprise project on me. We were horribly understaffed until 1PM. It’s alright as I went on a 3 hour lunch at 12 so that I could watch UK beat UNC. John Wall dominated the first half only to come out in the second with bad cramps. We had a commanding lead that just shrivelled up. I don’t feel like breaking down the game but suffice it to say we need to work on free throws bad and learn to kick the ball out to our perimeter when they double down the big guys.

I went back to work for just an hour before leaving to go over to a friend’s to watch the SEC Championship game. Alabama beat Florida… well destroyed is a better word. I was happy. Tebow is good and all but he doesn’t make me a bandwagon Florida fan like a lot of people seem to be doing. I don’t really have a college football team but I’ll stick with USC for a few reasons. (That’d be SoCal and NOT SoCar.)

After that we made some delicious burgers. They’re at least a quarter pound each. I had two which was a HUGE mistake. I was sooooo full. Ms. Sexy X called me and talked for about 20 minutes which was great. Unfortunately I was at a friend’s and at the very end I felt like throwing up. She sounded wonderful though and that was the highlight of my day for sure. I think she misses me but I know she won’t say. She’s set her mind for the moment so maybe one day she will but I just have to wait. :-( I get where she’s coming from when she does that but I wish she’d open up to me again. Afterall, it’s just us. I’ll wait for her… I love her. :-)

So I almost threw up. I was in the bathroom for a good bit, I walked around outside in the BRISK 20 degree weather to help. I stood for the first part of the Ultimate Fighter.

The whole card was actually entertaining. I was disappointed with Matt beating Marcus. Matt is such an idiot saying they both have “retard strength” on live TV. Really? I laughed at how stupid he could be. McSweeney beat Schoonover which I did want. Hamill beat Jones though Hamill got beat down so badly. Jones got DQ’d for illegal vertical elbow drops to the face. I never heard of them doing a DQ… wouldn’t it be a NC? Interesting. Jones should have won but the ref wouldn’t call it. Kimbo Slice beat Houston Alexander (who has an uncanny resemblence to the rapper Common.) The first round was completely boring with Houston literally dancing around the ring for the whole fucking thing. The second round started the same way with weak leg kicks to Kimbo’s bad knee. Not a bad game plan but put some power behind that shit. Kimbo slammed him down a few times and dominated the second round. The third round they were both tired and there were some takedowns and punches exchanged but it was slow and went to the bell where they both were exhausted. By unanimous decision Kimbo won which I agree with. Now given his age and bad knee… I can see him fighting a few more times but I certainly don’t expect him to last. The last fight featured Brenden Shaub and Roy Nelson. Guess who fucking won? Yeah the fatass did. I do give him credit, he actually put up a much better fight this time. Clearly Shaub needed to stay on his feet which he figured out after shoving that lardass off of him with one hand (WOW!) They were trading licks after that. Nelson gets gassed quick so dancing around to the second round would have worked but instead they exchange punches again except this time Nelson catches Shaub with a HUGE right hook to the ear which puts him to sleep. He punched him once more on the ground but Shaub was dazed and the ref stepped in to signal the knockout. Am I disappointed? You bet but oh well.

Chuck Lidell and Tito Ortiz are the next coaches for the middleweight TUF. Why the washed up Chuck? I guess he gets ratings and is friends with Dana. I wanted to see Georges St. Pierre coach. This next Saturday is a huge fight card in UFC 107. I’ll watch for sure.

I went home after that as my stomach was still iffy. This morning I feel fine (knock on wood.) I wish I could have talked longer with her. I probably won’t hear from her again for another week if not two weeks. That sucks. :-(

Posted in College Football, Food, Ms. Sexy X, Myself, UFC, University of Kentucky | No Comments »

Not Sure

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Apparently Oregon is going to reinstate Blount, the now infamous runningback who sucker punched the Boise State defensive end. My thoughts are mixed on this one. Not only did he sucker punch and keep up his attitude, he also went into the crowd at fans as well as taking a swing at the cops restraining him. I know emotions run high but there just isn’t any valid excuse, you didn’t see the other players swinging at anyone else, did you? What about the other 129 teams in the league? I can see easy suspension of half the season and only reinstatement if his grades and off the field performance is good as well as training with the team. I wouldn’t mind to see him completely done with the season but this is his career and as much as it sucks to see a player make millions in the NFL and waste it, it’s the joys of capitalism. So I’m mixed. It’s the same with the Vick thing, I wouldn’t mind seeing him not play another game (I still don’t think he’s that good) but he is working at fixing his wrongs which is the point of prison (theoretically anyways.)

As of 8:00PM tonight it has officially been 2 weeks since I’ve talked to Ms. Sexy X. I don’t know if we’ve gone this long before, it’s close if not surpassed the other lengthy periods of silence. I’m saddened for sure, I just don’t know what to do. I’m a bit worried as always. I mean this complete silence is killer, I have no idea what to make of it. My letter should have been delivered yesterday, I was sort of hoping for a call on that. I wonder what’s going on and then I feel guilty for wondering. I talked with my friend who says I should say something to her. Well, I have no idea if I send a message if she’s reading it. I know she has been reading them, maybe not immediately but eventually. So I think to myself, is she still doing it or am I wasting my time or does she dislike my communications? I weird myself out at times. Besides that, I know her. She’ll try to be… tough I guess. “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine. No one asked you to… etc.” Now I know she likes to be independent and she says her mood has been pissy as of late which I completely understand. Combine those two things and saying something won’t get us anywhere. I don’t want to say anything anyways, I want to give her breathing room.

Posted in College Football, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

Blah Day

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

I went to bed early last night, right at around 1AM. I was tired I guess and I have nothing to do. I’m bored and lonely. This morning I woke up to it still raining which should have been my cue to keep sleeping. I did sneak maybe another 45 minutes in but it wasn’t really sleep and I did dream a little. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow too but my body never lets me. Meh, oh well.

I had an ailing stomach and went to the bathroom several times this morning. I was hoping it was just from last night’s pizza. Unfortunately, it hit me several times today. I haven’t felt too bad really besides going to the bathroom. I’m hoping I’m not sick, I don’t feel it. I haven’t eaten any supper yet, I’m a bit afraid too.

Work was busy so it kept me occupied most of the time today. Florida took on UK today and I knew it was going to be a beatdown. I watched the first quarter before I tuned out. 31-0 and Hartline had 2-6 throwing with 1 whole yard. Wow that sucks. I believe the final score was 41-7 not that it mattered. Tebow went to the hospital after taking a hard hit though I figure he’s just shook up. I know there’s going to be a lot of drinking in Bluegrass nation tonight.

I had one strange black woman looking down at a phone or something and she snapped her head looking at me all exorcism style and says “Jesus is lord” and she snaps her head back to where she was looking. I said “ooooh kay” casually and she says “sorry I just wanted you to know.” I just gave her an odd stare and continued on.

I have been dreaming all day when I can. My dreams are simple but enormous. I’m nervous about going out there, this may be my chance. I haven’t heard from Ms. Sexy X in… is it 8 days now? I think that’s right. I’m worried but I know she’s fine, it’s just tough. I don’t know, I’m having a hard time saying what I want to say on here.

I have simple dreams and I’m so close. Please, please work out. Arrrgh!

Posted in College Football, Health, Ms. Sexy X, University of Kentucky, Work | No Comments »

Here I Go

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Fuck, last night was a great but horrible night.

After work I headed over to Old Chicago and watched most of the OSU/USC game. Surprisingly, Ohio State was keeping up with the Trojans and in fact had the lead after a field goal and safety. I had some delicious pizza (pepperoni/mushroom/green pepper) and was working on the World Beer Tour. Unfortunately, every single one I had was nasty as shit. One was Franziskaner, Ayinger, Warsteiner, and St. Pauli’s Girl. I had to chug each one because they tasted awful to me. The waiter started to pour the first one for me, saying it needed to be poured halfway first, mix it, and pour the rest because “it’s unfiltered.” I’m not a beer maker so I don’t know what that means. I bet there is just extra unfermented yeast in there. Still, I was pissed because he spilled beer by foaming it out and I don’t want anyone pouring a beer for me unless it’s from a tap. I’d prefer to do that myself too but you can’t really go behind a bar out of the blue. :-( I think they’re all hefeweizen which is a wheat beer and I hate wheat beers so I knew they’d all suck ass. Oh well.

We went back to a friend’s apartment where we watched the rest of the game. You could see that USC was on a scoring drive… I don’t care for OSU but I hate USC so I wanted to see the former win. Oh well. It’s like Notre Dame and Michigan, I don’t like Michigan but I really don’t like ND so seeing the latter lose was fine by me. The worst of two evils, you know?

I tossed a foam football around for a while and played 3 games of pong and lost each. We were all tired so we called it a night. I went home and decided to call Ms. Sexy X. Well to my surprise I get an answer. Mind you it’s 2AM here. I’m super excited. We talk for close to an hour, we just got started and then the phone cut off. WHAT THE FUCK?? The reason I’ve been getting voicemail so much is that where she is at right now is spotty coverage. That’s sort of a relief in some ways but it really sucks. I tried for 2 hours afterwards. I didn’t go to bed until 6AM. For an hour and a half I’d sometimes get through and she’d answer but you couldn’t hear anything. Once she managed to call me but it was the same result. I was super sad but finally gave up.

Now I’m left with mixed emotions. We barely got to talk, I have a ton of things to say and we were just cut off. Fuck. I don’t know. I’m hoping she calls back today. I’ve already tried calling a few minutes ago and it went straight to voicemail. Sigh.

Posted in Beer, College Football, Food, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

Just Like A Curse?

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Where to start. Hell, let’s go with last night. Yesterday, I was worried about Ms. Sexy X all day. By afternoon she at least turned her phone back on. That’s a relief but I’m still down. Whatever. I’m looking forward to getting off work and going over to BDubs to watch the game. (That’d be Buffalo Wild Wings, y’all! Also called BW3) I didn’t want no watered down pissy beer but a real man’s beer so I got the nectar of the gods… GUINNESS! Oh, I knew a tall glass of import was going to hurt the ol’ pocketbook but I went there for the atmosphere. A lot of us Steelers fans gather there on gameday. I couldn’t find a spot to sit so I sat with a black dude who was rambling on about all sorts of stuff. He was nice but he was a bit touched. I’m sure he was a little tipsy but I think there was a bit something more than that. However, he was nice and he was talking about some football and about his army life and living in Pittsburgh and some other stuff. I wasn’t really paying any attention because I was there to watch a game. I had 2 Guinness and I wish I had more but that cost me THIRTEEN bucks right there. I got wings too and that put me over $20!!! FUCK. I’m trying to save money so that’ll be my splurge for a while. The wings were actually fairly hot which is weird because I am usually NOT impressed. I think I was having an off day because I don’t normally find them spicy.

The Georgia Tech/Clemson game looked good. GT ran a train with the deadly triple option but then choked and Clemson came back. GT barely pulled that shit out for the win by a field goal. I wish I saw the game but NFL takes precedence for me.

The question that’s floating around is if Troy Polamalu’s injury is half of the “Madden Curse” since he and Larry Fitzgerald were on the cover of this year’s game. I think it’s silly because this is football and everyone gets injured. To top it off, the human missle gets that nickname from me because he plays no holds barred smash mouth football. He gets in on blitzes, run defense, and drops back into zone and breaks up all sorts of plays with hard hits. He’s bound to get shaken up. It sucks that he got hurt on a simple grab for a ball but that’s how it goes sometimes. He should be good in a few weeks I think.

I left the place at halftime and came home to watch the rest. I honestly don’t remember how I spent the rest of the night after the game. I talked with someone for a while, cleaned up for bed, and I guess I just watched SportsCenter as well as typed up some emails and drafts for here. I was feeling slightly better but I’m still sad.

This morning I was so-so. By lunchtime it was hitting hard. I won’t butter it up, it’s depression. I’m trying not to feel it, right now I’m in a bummy mood and I shouldn’t be. I just feel so empty, I don’t feel like eating and I just feel so… empty. :-( I haven’t talked with her in 11 days now. I have heard from her in other ways as recently as 4-5 days ago via a text. But that’s hard to get nothing but silence. It ain’t her fault, nosiree. I just feel sad and there isn’t much I can do about it. I’m trying to buck up. I will. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe she’ll call, maybe she’ll say the word. If nothing else, I’ll go watch the OSU/USC game with a friend. Blah.

Tonight… I have no idea. I’m going to try to call her. I don’t expect to get an answer unfortunately. But at least I can try. My friends mentioned drinking but I don’t feel like it, especially when depressed as it makes it worse for me.

I know, I know… three fucking posts in one day? These posts help alleviate the feeling, this is a therapy for me.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, bllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That’s how I feel. I’m just awwwesome I think. Fuck it, fuck y’all, fuck everything. Mmm, that made me feel a little bit better. Ha.

Posted in Beer, College Football, Food, Guinness, Ms. Sexy X, Myself, NFL, Steelers | No Comments »

The Pressure’s Been On Me

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

I don’t think anyone appreciates the pressure I’m under. I’m dealing with my own shit right now. From my love life to my work life to just life in general. My mom calls to mourn over the dog. That’s fine and I let her but I had told her the other night that I’d rather not think about it right now. She also starts talking religion which she knows I just don’t want to hear that. But I did what any good son would do, I suppose, and I just listened. I let her get it out. Sure I’m worried about her and her depression but what can I do? I have my own fucking depression that I’m battling off each and every single day. Today I’m doing well. I also had my friend text and call me yesterday because he has problems with money, breaking up, and his mom. I’m trying to help him because I don’t like to turn my back on anyone but fuck if I need a break. I listened to him although I had no advice to offer either.

I don’t know what to do. It’s another day without talking to Ms. Sexy X, I’m always worried for her. So that’s bearing down on me hardest. I can live with it, I just look to the next day and hope she says the word. I’m not fooling myself because it’s probably 2 months out or more but fuck it. She may just say “fuck it” and say the word so I can go out there. I really hope she does. But that’s all whatever. I’ll wait.

Right now I’m just looking forward to grilling a few burgers, drinking my Pepsi, and watching a movie. Beyond that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m just trying to kill another day so that I’m closer to my darling.

I bought a gross of Pepsi. Why? The 12 packs were on sale for $1.99, how could I possibly pass that up? It’ll last me a few months at one to two a day. I’m allowed a vice so back off. I brush my teeth 3 times a day too.

The burgers I make are delicious. I prefer them rare though on occasion I’ll cook all the way up to medium well as they’re still juicy. I pat them out into quarter pounders, I add garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and Famous Dave’s seasoning to them. I grill to desired doneness and then add a slice of swiss and that’s all she wrote. It’s very tasty.

Before I forget, the Miami/Florida State University game was excellent last night. I’m more of a defense person so the Steelers are naturally fun to watch. That game had some good defensive plays but the secondary was young and weak for both sides so there was a LOT of deep passing plays. Regardless, the points didn’t get too far out of control because each team’s defense made some nice stops here and there. The kicker for FSU shanked 2 and then made the rest. It went to the very last second where Ponder threw a low pass but it was catchable. The receiver dropped it in the endzone. I liked seeing Miami win. My question is what the hell the coach was thinking by not calling a timeout and wasting 20 seconds? That prevented getting a running play or two in. Piss poor coaching.

Posted in College Football, Drinks, Food, Health, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

FOOOORE!

Saturday, September 5th, 2009

Nope, there’s no golf here.

Yesterday at work was incredibly boring. So what do I do? I get a Nerf football and toss it around. Yes, it’s a stupid idea but I don’t give a fuck. There’s a very fat and rather slow guy I work with. He’s nice but I’m just pointing out the obvious facts. His coordination sucks too. So I toss the football at him and watching him try to catch is hilarious. I know his throwing is atrocious as well. He’s walking down the aisle and I holler his name and he turns around and cocks his arm to throw it (in a weird way too.) I had just noticed a woman out of my peripheral right behind me so my eyes widen and I’m about to tell him no but it’s too late. He launches the thing to where even Shaq couldn’t reach it. FUUUUCK. I leap as high as I could and stretch my arm way out and it’s still over me. I’m not super tall nor have a high vertical but still. As I come down I look over my shoulder to watch. The woman is oblivious as the ball comes down and smacks her square on the forehead with a light “whoomph.” It is so fucking hilarious that I wanted to burst out laughing. Since it was partially my fault, I couldn’t and apologized for the guy that threw it and made myself look good. Well, I wasn’t the one that threw it. Anyways, I walked off so I could laugh hard about it. She just said “it’s alright, I work with little kids every day.” That was just as funny because she doesn’t know how true that is for him.

Today I had a young woman who worked at Hooters. She brought in modeling pictures of herself almost naked, tastefully done. They were definite professionals. She didn’t mind me looking at them though I only needed to see the top one to know. I explained the copyright situation to her and we discussed it for quite a while. She got angry but wasn’t really blaming me. I ended up getting 4 managers over there and the head one said the decision defaults to me and I told her exactly what I had been saying. She wasn’t too pleased. Oh well. I was heated at one point and wanted to tell her off but I know anger gets you nowhere and to kill them with kindness is so much better. It’s verrrry hard to take the high road. At one point I offered to hold the pictures until she obtained a copyright release to which she says “and leave half naked pictures of me here for others to see? Uh, no.” I wanted to just say “bitch, you showed me already, you did it in public, you offered to show others, you said you had no problem with your body or showing it off… so this fake modesty bit is just bullshit because you can’t get a release.” Of course I bit my tongue but that royally pissed me off.

My only relief for today was to go to a friend’s place to eat and watch college football. Most of the games haven’t been all too interesting today but it is football. Crimson Tide went up on the Hokies by a TD. SEC FTW! I taste tested the Nathan’s side by side with the Angus Ballpark and my conclusion was the Nathan’s is indeed a little bit plumper, juicier, and tastier. I’m going with it from now on.

On a great note, Ms. Sexy X did email me yesterday afternoon with something I was waiting on. That excited me a bunch. It’s helped me feel good today and hopefully will carry me through for a while. I still haven’t talked with her and I sure do miss her. Oy.

Posted in College Football, Food, Ms. Sexy X, Sports, Work | No Comments »

Let Me Be Blount

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Where to start today? Oh, I’ll get to the sports news in a minute.

Yesterday I was feeling really worried. I called, texted, and emailed Ms. Sexy X. I got nothing. I had to go to work at noon. Sigh. I was texting a friend when I went in and at 1201 I’m wondering why he just blew up my phone with 3 text messages in a row. As I opened it I realized only one was from him and the other two were from Ms. Sexy X. FINALLY! The message was a double but it was an important update. I’m not sure why she didn’t update me a lot sooner but it made sense. I don’t know. I was still feeling down. She surprised me by sending a picture later in the day and that made me super excited. She knows how to make me happy. :-)

After work I went to my friends house where we grilled some hotdogs and had chili cheese fries. I got the Nathan’s brand on MSX’s suggestion and they were very good. They were juicy and tasty and on sale but normally expensive. I think it’s very similar to the Angus Ballparks except the latter tends to have a tad bit of a spice or taste to it… I can’t explain that but can taste it. I was stuffed. We watched the Boise State vs Oregon game. That game was PAINFUL to watch. BSU was just ramrodding Oregon but they couldn’t finish. They missed two field goals so after their first score they opted to run a two point conversion which worked wonderfully. There were a lot of fumbles in this game and a pick or two. Boise State would find a way to put Oregon in a great position instead of sealing the deal. Oregon, however, managed to find a way to fuck up every single time. They just kept shooting themselves in the foot. They didn’t even get a fucking first down until 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter. What about their star running back LeGarrette Blount? He was sitting at negative yardage on about 8 carries. Does that name sound familiar? It might. He’s the one that promised an “ass whoopin” earlier in the week. He’s also the one that’s all over SportsCenter now. Not for his play… no he had a horrible negative 5 yards on carries for the game. It was his attitude afterwards where a Bronco linebacker (Byron Hout) gave Blount a sarcastic (taunting) pat on the back. Blount turned around and cold cocked him in the jaw dropping Hout out. What the hell? Then he was getting into fights with his teammates who were trying to calm him down. As he walked by the stands, the BSU fans jeered him and he turned around and almost went into the stands. He had to be pulled back and escorted by staff and cops. I swear he pushed a cop too. What class. His apology afterwords rang hollow. I hope he’s suspended the rest of the year.

There were some good plays in the NFL. Michael Vick can return by the 3rd week. He ran in a touchdown against the Jets. He also threw a pick. The Pittsburg Steelers’ new run specialist Stefan Logan ran one to the house yesterday. He’s already proving his value. I think he has potential for – dare I say - FOUR TD returns this season and major yardage on top of that. He’s small and fast and with our special teams making holes… it’s over!

I’m sure other things happened yesterday. There were two impressive one handed picks on the college level that you can find on SC’s top ten list. College ball officially kicked off with that game last night. Saturday is looking solid with a line up of Ohio State & Navy (really? Will the triple option and cuts hurt OSU?) then the Georgia & Oklahoma State plays. After THAT, you can watch Brigham Young & Oklahoma and there’s even one more game – Alabama & Virginia Tech! The highlight reel will be smoking that night, I bet.

I’m trying to keep a positive outlook on things here. I don’t have a college team but I do love watching a good game. The weather is fine, not too hot nor too cold. I have a persistent cough that’s annoying the fuck outta me. Luckily, it seems I’ve stopped coughing up phlegm. Blah. I’m still a bit worried and I’m definitely lonely and I miss her so much. This is hard on me. What to do, what to do?

Here’s a GREAT sign that made me laugh during the Oregon/BSU game. It’s extremely appropriate given how badly the Ducks sucked it up.

duck roast

Posted in College Football, Food, Health, Ms. Sexy X, NFL, Steelers | No Comments »

My Beautiful Disaster