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Here come the Celtics!

Sunday, May 23rd, 2010

My boy Rajon Rondo is leading this charge. They’re seemingly unstoppable in going for another championship ring. Given their propensity to fuck up in the 4th and going against the Lakers might make for an interesting series. I’m still thinking a sweep of the Magic and the Lakers. Ha.

Somehow I missed the memo that Rampage agreed to fight Rashad. That’s next Saturday, I can’t wait. Given the last few UFCs seemingly sucked (of course I was not watching on a nice screen) I’m hoping this one will rock as I chill at BDubs.

Many things have been going on. I haven’t really updated in… well a full month. Why? I don’t know. I’ve been going through my cycles, I’m on a downward spiral right now. I just don’t seem to belong here nor anywhere for that matter. I just have to ride this one out. I start a new job soon so there’s always that. I wish I could just magically shake off this feeling but I just feel so… what is the word I’m looking for? I think I got it: “Lost.” That’s really the basis I guess but seemingly complicated to explain.

I had a situation where two new friends lied to me to my face (I knew it as they did it.) I called one of them out a few days after; I was asked certain questions so I told the truth otherwise I was just going to let it go (though keep it in the back of my head.) I’m sort of keeping my distance from them. Everyone is always busy and I have lots of free time. I’m hoping to shore up that free time in the near future with work and working out.

I’ve had upswings and down. I didn’t think about updating the blog here until today. It’s taken a month since applying before I even start the job. This apartment depresses me and I need to think about moving soon. That depresses me. I have debt pretty high now and I just bought something stupid… well not stupid but I should have waited a little longer. I have money but it will be tight for sure until a few paychecks can start rolling in. I’m ever so lonely and not in a family/friends kind of way. I don’t think it’s right to burden myself or someone else with a shitty relationship by just going out to suppress that feeling. I’ll meet someone eventually but when I don’t know. Then I have other bullshit emotions to deal with. I shouldn’t compare but I know I will. It’s hard to downgrade when you’ve tasted caviar.

Posted in Myself, NBA, UFC | No Comments »

The NFL Sham

Wednesday, April 21st, 2010

I’m getting tired of Roger Goodell making unilateral decisions. Why does all the power fall on one commissioner? Who the hell decided that was a good idea?

Here’s my problem. He’s trying to do some sort of zero tolerance policy with “personal conduct.” I can understand some punishments levied on convicted players. But who decides what is moral? One man? My issue just happens to be his latest punishment of Ben Roethlisberger. I am biased because I am a fan but that doesn’t change the argument.

We have a person who went clubbing like many other young aged folk. Him and his entourage meet up with some partying sorority girls. They know of him and are hopping from club to club with his group. Clearly there is drinking and flirting going on. They know he’s a TWO time Super Bowl winning quarterback and just got signed to a HUGE contract. They also know he had an unproven rape allegation that was dropped and the conniving female is simply trying to extort him via a civil suit. So is it any surprise one of these women claimed rape again? The DA could not prove anything happened, it’s all he said/she said. So all we have is MAYBE sex in a nightclub but that can’t even be proven. Will this influence 18-26 yr old crowd? No, college men and women will continue to club before this incident, during this incident, and after. This changes and influences nothing.

Where’s this bad conduct? Sex is natural. Most everyone does it. The body craves it. I don’t agree with the choice of location /woman/situation however that’s just a conflict of my personal view. I don’t see it as immoral. Hell, I’m sure there are hundreds of players that are taking full advantage of the fame of being an NFL player and are scoring like Chamberlain and Johnson of NBA notoriety. To me sleeping around like that is despicable. But I won’t hold it against them as that’s just a personal conflict.

As an adult I just think “so he had sex, how does this affect me?” It doesn’t. Why am I pissed? I’m pissed at the fact he was even punished. It doesn’t affect me though, right? True but I DO watch the NFL for entertainment and this whole thing takes away from it. I’ll go on living my life and this will never touch me but I still take issue with it for Ben’s sake and any other player that has been caught like this.

Whether Ben had sex or not doesn’t matter. They’re partying and this is his private life. If he did have sex… again it doesn’t matter. Everyone does (well mostly.) So this affects adults that use logic… none. Does this influence kids? Hell no. There may be an outlier here and there but as a kid I look at Magic Johnson as a basketball god and wished I could play like him. My parents went on and on about how he had sex with all those women and had AIDS. So fucking what? As a kid I wanted to play all the time and I could dream of being like Mike, Wilt, and Magic. This simply won’t influence a kid or dash dreams at all. I know I’d love to look up to a 2 time Super Bowl winning football star. As a kid I wouldn’t “know” about sex nor even care about it, I’d be thinking about having fun.

This incident does not tarnish the image of football or the NFL. That image has long been tarnished by incidents of actual convictions – look at the Cowboys or Bengals just to name a few. Roger is hurting the image more which makes it highly ironic. Now they’re damaging Ben’s career and essentially fining him $2-3 million with the suspensions. So what if he has the money? That’s not the point. He’s earned that and should be given the chance to continue to earn it.

Art Rooney is a moron. He was ready to punish Ben no matter what Roger did (as if ol’ Rog could pass up the opportunity to be a dictator.) Some say quarterbacks are held to the highest standard and making an example of him will show the team does not support his actions. In fact, there’s talk of trading him.

Are you off your fucking rocker? Do you think we’ll lose the first 4-6 games without him? If so what the hell makes you think the backups can finish the season better than that and what makes you think drafting a top quarterback will possibly net better results? Ben is a PROVEN TWO TIME SUPERBOWL WINNING QUARTERBACK. So it’s about principle now, eh? If you want to take a stand then I want every team to dump anyone that has been convicted of a crime, charged with a crime, or investigated for a crime. THAT is taking a stand. That won’t happen so don’t blow smoke up our skirts with that lame excuse.

There is no reason to punish him this harshly… or at all. No crime was committed. No immoral act was committed. Wake up people, you probably had sex this very morning. Do you feel dirty or something? Get over it, it’s natural. You probably had a drink last night so it isn’t the booze you hate. Is it that ”evil dancing and rock roll music” that bugs you so much? This isn’t the 50’s anymore and just because you’re old doesn’t mean your train of thought is correct as the current generation is nowhere near you (and they’ll be the ones supporting the NFL.) I want the higher ups to get off their high horses.

There is no reason to even think of a trade or to punish him on a team level. Everyone has their heads so far up their asses that they can’t see the absurdity in front of them.

Despite the stupid ESPN pundits saying it’s deserved and “everyone is tired with him” it just simply isn’t true. Fans are still behind him. The big wigs are hanging him out to dry.

Posted in NFL, Sports, Steelers, Thoughts | No Comments »

We’re Playing Basketball…

Thursday, March 4th, 2010

Quite a few games on last night. Didn’t get to see any NBA action but did see the replays of LeBron crucifying the Nets with his dunks and assists. Carmelo Anthony took Kevin Durant to task shutting him down with a Nuggets win over the Thunder. In college there was Maryland laying the smack down on Duke with Vasquez leading that charge with some impressive play. Kentucky beat up on Georgia though Leslie was getting on my nerves. Do we have to see the dunk over Cousins again? Well John Wall shut them up by stealing the ball with his left hand and taking it down court with his left hand and finishing with a monster left handed dunk. Fuck you bitches! It got 2nd on ESPN’s top10. Why? Because these asses have a fucking HOCKEY play as number one. WHY THE FUCK? The NHL blows and the Olympics did not revive it! LET IT DIE! A goalie stop is not and never will be a number one play you assholes! UGH. That’s the whole reason behind this post.

Posted in College Basketball, Sports | No Comments »

Bummed Around With Bum Arm

Saturday, January 9th, 2010

Nothing new today. I slept in late, ate, and did some one handed cleaning. Washing up some dishes sure was interesting as well as doing some laundry. I hopped back in bed and watched basketball until 4 then went over to a friends to watch UK beat Georgia. John Wall was not playing his best game, in fact the whole team looked anemic. Thankfully Patterson and Cousins stepped up with Liggins and Bledsoe. Nothing heroic, just the basics and it helped us pull through. We’re still undefeated and here’s to beating Florida Tuesday night at 9. The Jets beat up on the Bengals like I said they would. Revis shut down Chad Johnson as usual and Sanchez hooked up with Keller and Cotchery. I was happy with the outcome. The Cowboys are unfortunately winning right now. The Eagles defense is pathetic, mainly because most their players are hurt. It’d take a miracle to win now. McNabb looks like garbage as usual. His offensive line looks worse so that’s of no help. Meh. Wisconsin beat Purdue and Georgia Tech came back and beat Duke after I wrote them off and left. UConn blew a huge lead and the end of the game allowing Georgetown to win by a few. The games weren’t too bad today.

I came back home because his place is fucking cold. My arm is hurting like a bitch so I popped another pain pill. That’s only my second for today. :-) I’m starting to feel it already. Oy.

I’m trying not to think today and I’ve been mostly successful. I can’t control dreams and I dreamed 3 different times last night. They were happy dreams but after I woke up I felt sad. Damn. Maybe I’ll get a bunch of sleep tonight with no dreams. I don’t dream often and I remember them even less often but last night I kept waking up… I wonder if it was the medicine but more likely just me. Blah. I’m trying here.

I’ll probably cruise around on the internet for a while until I pass out. This game sucks so I’m turning it off. I plan on sleeping in and watching football tomorrow. If only I could dream a reality then I’d never dream another.

Posted in College Basketball, Myself, NFL, University of Kentucky | No Comments »

Sports And Stuff

Sunday, January 3rd, 2010

I just did some reading last night and watched UFC 108. It featured Rashad Evans vs Thiago Silva. Rashad was working on his ground and pound surprisingly and took Silva down many times. He dominated the first two rounds leaving some sort of knockout as Thiago’s only hope. He realizes this and taunts Rashad to take a swing at him for most of the third round. He’d wave him over or drop his guard and stick his face out. It’s tempting to beat the shit out of him but Rashad is smart and kept back. Unfortunately during one exchange a counter nailed Rashad stunning him. Silva jumped on him quick but Rashad managed to stay up and not get knocked out. He would clinch up on him to prevent a further beating. Joe Rogan starts saying how Silva needs to act now (they separated and had their hands at their sides catching their breaths.) He was right, don’t let Evans recover. But Silva is an idiot and let him recover only to get tied up for the last minute and thirty seconds leaving it to decision which easily went to Rashad. I was happy with the whole fight card, every one featured submissions and ground and pound and on the feet action. They may not have been big names but it was fun to watch. This one might have been worth $40. Go figure.

I also watched the UK vs UofL game yesterday. It was scrappy from the getgo, Bledsoe fouls a few seconds into the game (bullshit call) and he’s going off. Calipari has to bench him so he cools down. Not but 30 seconds later 3 technical fouls are assessed in a mini-brawl. This shit is getting real and the record 24k+ crowd in Rupp Arena is about to explode. This rivalry has far reaching implications in the Bluegrass. Neither team can hit a basket in the first half and the defense played is stellar. Fouls are flying left and right easily hitting the one and one bonus with 10 to go in the first. By the second half Louisville manages to cut the lead after a 5 point swing when Patterson misses a wide open dunk (BRICK) and they nail a trey. They get up one point 42-41 before John Wall (who is back in the game from a cramp) finally gets back in rhythm and tears ‘em apart. It’s tense up to the buzzer but UK retains the lead at around ten points with some rare missed free throws from Wall. Kentucky extends the unbeaten record to 15-0.

Today is a day of relax and rest for me. I’m going to watch football all day to keep my mind busy. I need the Steelers to win and the Texans and Jets to lose. Unfortunately, the teams they’re playing may rest their starters fucking our chances for the playoffs. I have a few bills to get in order but that’s it.

I was thinking and figured that if Ms. Sexy X is happier without me in her life then that’s what I want. Hey, I may not be as happy but oh well. I’ve always been interested in her happiness so if this is what it takes I’ll accept that. Only she can answer that and I guess she has. I don’t have to like the decision but I’d never force myself upon anyone so I have to move on. That’s hard and will take a lot of time. As stated above I try to keep busy but many times I slip up. If I ask myself ”is my life better off without MSX?” I’d answer no in a heartbeat. Someone that is super smart, can make me laugh all the time, and has such a huge heart, and cares about me. That is a no-brainer. I want ME to be happy but not at her expense. Fare thee well, my love. ;-) I hope she finds happiness wherever she goes.

Posted in College Basketball, Ms. Sexy X, Myself, NFL, Steelers, UFC, University of Kentucky | No Comments »

Busy Days Help

Sunday, December 6th, 2009

I was right, the 4th was so very hard on me. I had the day off and it just hit me. I tried cleaning to keep my mind off of it but I’d just breakdown over and over. I did manage to clean my incredibly messy room… I always let it go to shit when I tumble into depression. I just start throwing anything anywhere. Well, I was tired of the mess and it just further depressed me. I was intending to keep busy so I couldn’t think but I failed. Alas, I finally got it clean, my laundry all washed, the kitchen clean, and my bathroom clean. It felt really good despite the fact that I felt like shit. I ended up going over to a friend’s to play Call of Duty until 2AM. I got home and in bed by 3AM only to get up at 6AM.

Yesterday was much easier but not entirely better. The lack of sleep wasn’t fun. I was busy at work all day when my boss sprung a surprise project on me. We were horribly understaffed until 1PM. It’s alright as I went on a 3 hour lunch at 12 so that I could watch UK beat UNC. John Wall dominated the first half only to come out in the second with bad cramps. We had a commanding lead that just shrivelled up. I don’t feel like breaking down the game but suffice it to say we need to work on free throws bad and learn to kick the ball out to our perimeter when they double down the big guys.

I went back to work for just an hour before leaving to go over to a friend’s to watch the SEC Championship game. Alabama beat Florida… well destroyed is a better word. I was happy. Tebow is good and all but he doesn’t make me a bandwagon Florida fan like a lot of people seem to be doing. I don’t really have a college football team but I’ll stick with USC for a few reasons. (That’d be SoCal and NOT SoCar.)

After that we made some delicious burgers. They’re at least a quarter pound each. I had two which was a HUGE mistake. I was sooooo full. Ms. Sexy X called me and talked for about 20 minutes which was great. Unfortunately I was at a friend’s and at the very end I felt like throwing up. She sounded wonderful though and that was the highlight of my day for sure. I think she misses me but I know she won’t say. She’s set her mind for the moment so maybe one day she will but I just have to wait. :-( I get where she’s coming from when she does that but I wish she’d open up to me again. Afterall, it’s just us. I’ll wait for her… I love her. :-)

So I almost threw up. I was in the bathroom for a good bit, I walked around outside in the BRISK 20 degree weather to help. I stood for the first part of the Ultimate Fighter.

The whole card was actually entertaining. I was disappointed with Matt beating Marcus. Matt is such an idiot saying they both have “retard strength” on live TV. Really? I laughed at how stupid he could be. McSweeney beat Schoonover which I did want. Hamill beat Jones though Hamill got beat down so badly. Jones got DQ’d for illegal vertical elbow drops to the face. I never heard of them doing a DQ… wouldn’t it be a NC? Interesting. Jones should have won but the ref wouldn’t call it. Kimbo Slice beat Houston Alexander (who has an uncanny resemblence to the rapper Common.) The first round was completely boring with Houston literally dancing around the ring for the whole fucking thing. The second round started the same way with weak leg kicks to Kimbo’s bad knee. Not a bad game plan but put some power behind that shit. Kimbo slammed him down a few times and dominated the second round. The third round they were both tired and there were some takedowns and punches exchanged but it was slow and went to the bell where they both were exhausted. By unanimous decision Kimbo won which I agree with. Now given his age and bad knee… I can see him fighting a few more times but I certainly don’t expect him to last. The last fight featured Brenden Shaub and Roy Nelson. Guess who fucking won? Yeah the fatass did. I do give him credit, he actually put up a much better fight this time. Clearly Shaub needed to stay on his feet which he figured out after shoving that lardass off of him with one hand (WOW!) They were trading licks after that. Nelson gets gassed quick so dancing around to the second round would have worked but instead they exchange punches again except this time Nelson catches Shaub with a HUGE right hook to the ear which puts him to sleep. He punched him once more on the ground but Shaub was dazed and the ref stepped in to signal the knockout. Am I disappointed? You bet but oh well.

Chuck Lidell and Tito Ortiz are the next coaches for the middleweight TUF. Why the washed up Chuck? I guess he gets ratings and is friends with Dana. I wanted to see Georges St. Pierre coach. This next Saturday is a huge fight card in UFC 107. I’ll watch for sure.

I went home after that as my stomach was still iffy. This morning I feel fine (knock on wood.) I wish I could have talked longer with her. I probably won’t hear from her again for another week if not two weeks. That sucks. :-(

Posted in College Football, Food, Ms. Sexy X, Myself, UFC, University of Kentucky | No Comments »

Day 13

Monday, November 30th, 2009

To borrow a line from a parody “I miss her more than Michael Bay missed the mark when he made Pearl Harbor.” Not only is that funny but it’s an inside joke and it’s absolutely true – in both ways.

I haven’t done shit all day. I don’t mind but I’m bored and lonely. This would be one of those perfect lounge days. I find myself thinking about what she’s doing. Oy vey. I feel a bit down today.

I have 3 things to look forward to. In a while I’m going to workout. After that I’ll watch John Wall (aka “The Truth!”) and UK light it up against UNC-Ash and then MNF with the Saints and Pats. I couldn’t care less about all these – I love watching sports but right now they only serve as a distraction. Hell, the Pittsburgh loss to the ratbirds last night doesn’t really bother me. Granted, it’s made the race tighter for the wild card but it’s all whatever. There are more important things to think about.

Posted in College Basketball, Steelers, Thoughts, University of Kentucky | No Comments »

Not Sure

Friday, October 2nd, 2009

Apparently Oregon is going to reinstate Blount, the now infamous runningback who sucker punched the Boise State defensive end. My thoughts are mixed on this one. Not only did he sucker punch and keep up his attitude, he also went into the crowd at fans as well as taking a swing at the cops restraining him. I know emotions run high but there just isn’t any valid excuse, you didn’t see the other players swinging at anyone else, did you? What about the other 129 teams in the league? I can see easy suspension of half the season and only reinstatement if his grades and off the field performance is good as well as training with the team. I wouldn’t mind to see him completely done with the season but this is his career and as much as it sucks to see a player make millions in the NFL and waste it, it’s the joys of capitalism. So I’m mixed. It’s the same with the Vick thing, I wouldn’t mind seeing him not play another game (I still don’t think he’s that good) but he is working at fixing his wrongs which is the point of prison (theoretically anyways.)

As of 8:00PM tonight it has officially been 2 weeks since I’ve talked to Ms. Sexy X. I don’t know if we’ve gone this long before, it’s close if not surpassed the other lengthy periods of silence. I’m saddened for sure, I just don’t know what to do. I’m a bit worried as always. I mean this complete silence is killer, I have no idea what to make of it. My letter should have been delivered yesterday, I was sort of hoping for a call on that. I wonder what’s going on and then I feel guilty for wondering. I talked with my friend who says I should say something to her. Well, I have no idea if I send a message if she’s reading it. I know she has been reading them, maybe not immediately but eventually. So I think to myself, is she still doing it or am I wasting my time or does she dislike my communications? I weird myself out at times. Besides that, I know her. She’ll try to be… tough I guess. “You don’t have to worry about me, I’m fine. No one asked you to… etc.” Now I know she likes to be independent and she says her mood has been pissy as of late which I completely understand. Combine those two things and saying something won’t get us anywhere. I don’t want to say anything anyways, I want to give her breathing room.

Posted in College Football, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

Blah Day

Saturday, September 26th, 2009

I went to bed early last night, right at around 1AM. I was tired I guess and I have nothing to do. I’m bored and lonely. This morning I woke up to it still raining which should have been my cue to keep sleeping. I did sneak maybe another 45 minutes in but it wasn’t really sleep and I did dream a little. I plan on sleeping in tomorrow too but my body never lets me. Meh, oh well.

I had an ailing stomach and went to the bathroom several times this morning. I was hoping it was just from last night’s pizza. Unfortunately, it hit me several times today. I haven’t felt too bad really besides going to the bathroom. I’m hoping I’m not sick, I don’t feel it. I haven’t eaten any supper yet, I’m a bit afraid too.

Work was busy so it kept me occupied most of the time today. Florida took on UK today and I knew it was going to be a beatdown. I watched the first quarter before I tuned out. 31-0 and Hartline had 2-6 throwing with 1 whole yard. Wow that sucks. I believe the final score was 41-7 not that it mattered. Tebow went to the hospital after taking a hard hit though I figure he’s just shook up. I know there’s going to be a lot of drinking in Bluegrass nation tonight.

I had one strange black woman looking down at a phone or something and she snapped her head looking at me all exorcism style and says “Jesus is lord” and she snaps her head back to where she was looking. I said “ooooh kay” casually and she says “sorry I just wanted you to know.” I just gave her an odd stare and continued on.

I have been dreaming all day when I can. My dreams are simple but enormous. I’m nervous about going out there, this may be my chance. I haven’t heard from Ms. Sexy X in… is it 8 days now? I think that’s right. I’m worried but I know she’s fine, it’s just tough. I don’t know, I’m having a hard time saying what I want to say on here.

I have simple dreams and I’m so close. Please, please work out. Arrrgh!

Posted in College Football, Health, Ms. Sexy X, University of Kentucky, Work | No Comments »

Here I Go

Sunday, September 13th, 2009

Fuck, last night was a great but horrible night.

After work I headed over to Old Chicago and watched most of the OSU/USC game. Surprisingly, Ohio State was keeping up with the Trojans and in fact had the lead after a field goal and safety. I had some delicious pizza (pepperoni/mushroom/green pepper) and was working on the World Beer Tour. Unfortunately, every single one I had was nasty as shit. One was Franziskaner, Ayinger, Warsteiner, and St. Pauli’s Girl. I had to chug each one because they tasted awful to me. The waiter started to pour the first one for me, saying it needed to be poured halfway first, mix it, and pour the rest because “it’s unfiltered.” I’m not a beer maker so I don’t know what that means. I bet there is just extra unfermented yeast in there. Still, I was pissed because he spilled beer by foaming it out and I don’t want anyone pouring a beer for me unless it’s from a tap. I’d prefer to do that myself too but you can’t really go behind a bar out of the blue. :-( I think they’re all hefeweizen which is a wheat beer and I hate wheat beers so I knew they’d all suck ass. Oh well.

We went back to a friend’s apartment where we watched the rest of the game. You could see that USC was on a scoring drive… I don’t care for OSU but I hate USC so I wanted to see the former win. Oh well. It’s like Notre Dame and Michigan, I don’t like Michigan but I really don’t like ND so seeing the latter lose was fine by me. The worst of two evils, you know?

I tossed a foam football around for a while and played 3 games of pong and lost each. We were all tired so we called it a night. I went home and decided to call Ms. Sexy X. Well to my surprise I get an answer. Mind you it’s 2AM here. I’m super excited. We talk for close to an hour, we just got started and then the phone cut off. WHAT THE FUCK?? The reason I’ve been getting voicemail so much is that where she is at right now is spotty coverage. That’s sort of a relief in some ways but it really sucks. I tried for 2 hours afterwards. I didn’t go to bed until 6AM. For an hour and a half I’d sometimes get through and she’d answer but you couldn’t hear anything. Once she managed to call me but it was the same result. I was super sad but finally gave up.

Now I’m left with mixed emotions. We barely got to talk, I have a ton of things to say and we were just cut off. Fuck. I don’t know. I’m hoping she calls back today. I’ve already tried calling a few minutes ago and it went straight to voicemail. Sigh.

Posted in Beer, College Football, Food, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

Just Like A Curse?

Friday, September 11th, 2009

Where to start. Hell, let’s go with last night. Yesterday, I was worried about Ms. Sexy X all day. By afternoon she at least turned her phone back on. That’s a relief but I’m still down. Whatever. I’m looking forward to getting off work and going over to BDubs to watch the game. (That’d be Buffalo Wild Wings, y’all! Also called BW3) I didn’t want no watered down pissy beer but a real man’s beer so I got the nectar of the gods… GUINNESS! Oh, I knew a tall glass of import was going to hurt the ol’ pocketbook but I went there for the atmosphere. A lot of us Steelers fans gather there on gameday. I couldn’t find a spot to sit so I sat with a black dude who was rambling on about all sorts of stuff. He was nice but he was a bit touched. I’m sure he was a little tipsy but I think there was a bit something more than that. However, he was nice and he was talking about some football and about his army life and living in Pittsburgh and some other stuff. I wasn’t really paying any attention because I was there to watch a game. I had 2 Guinness and I wish I had more but that cost me THIRTEEN bucks right there. I got wings too and that put me over $20!!! FUCK. I’m trying to save money so that’ll be my splurge for a while. The wings were actually fairly hot which is weird because I am usually NOT impressed. I think I was having an off day because I don’t normally find them spicy.

The Georgia Tech/Clemson game looked good. GT ran a train with the deadly triple option but then choked and Clemson came back. GT barely pulled that shit out for the win by a field goal. I wish I saw the game but NFL takes precedence for me.

The question that’s floating around is if Troy Polamalu’s injury is half of the “Madden Curse” since he and Larry Fitzgerald were on the cover of this year’s game. I think it’s silly because this is football and everyone gets injured. To top it off, the human missle gets that nickname from me because he plays no holds barred smash mouth football. He gets in on blitzes, run defense, and drops back into zone and breaks up all sorts of plays with hard hits. He’s bound to get shaken up. It sucks that he got hurt on a simple grab for a ball but that’s how it goes sometimes. He should be good in a few weeks I think.

I left the place at halftime and came home to watch the rest. I honestly don’t remember how I spent the rest of the night after the game. I talked with someone for a while, cleaned up for bed, and I guess I just watched SportsCenter as well as typed up some emails and drafts for here. I was feeling slightly better but I’m still sad.

This morning I was so-so. By lunchtime it was hitting hard. I won’t butter it up, it’s depression. I’m trying not to feel it, right now I’m in a bummy mood and I shouldn’t be. I just feel so empty, I don’t feel like eating and I just feel so… empty. :-( I haven’t talked with her in 11 days now. I have heard from her in other ways as recently as 4-5 days ago via a text. But that’s hard to get nothing but silence. It ain’t her fault, nosiree. I just feel sad and there isn’t much I can do about it. I’m trying to buck up. I will. Tomorrow is a new day. Maybe she’ll call, maybe she’ll say the word. If nothing else, I’ll go watch the OSU/USC game with a friend. Blah.

Tonight… I have no idea. I’m going to try to call her. I don’t expect to get an answer unfortunately. But at least I can try. My friends mentioned drinking but I don’t feel like it, especially when depressed as it makes it worse for me.

I know, I know… three fucking posts in one day? These posts help alleviate the feeling, this is a therapy for me.

Blah, blah, blah, blah, bllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. That’s how I feel. I’m just awwwesome I think. Fuck it, fuck y’all, fuck everything. Mmm, that made me feel a little bit better. Ha.

Posted in Beer, College Football, Food, Guinness, Ms. Sexy X, Myself, NFL, Steelers | No Comments »

The Pressure’s Been On Me

Tuesday, September 8th, 2009

I don’t think anyone appreciates the pressure I’m under. I’m dealing with my own shit right now. From my love life to my work life to just life in general. My mom calls to mourn over the dog. That’s fine and I let her but I had told her the other night that I’d rather not think about it right now. She also starts talking religion which she knows I just don’t want to hear that. But I did what any good son would do, I suppose, and I just listened. I let her get it out. Sure I’m worried about her and her depression but what can I do? I have my own fucking depression that I’m battling off each and every single day. Today I’m doing well. I also had my friend text and call me yesterday because he has problems with money, breaking up, and his mom. I’m trying to help him because I don’t like to turn my back on anyone but fuck if I need a break. I listened to him although I had no advice to offer either.

I don’t know what to do. It’s another day without talking to Ms. Sexy X, I’m always worried for her. So that’s bearing down on me hardest. I can live with it, I just look to the next day and hope she says the word. I’m not fooling myself because it’s probably 2 months out or more but fuck it. She may just say “fuck it” and say the word so I can go out there. I really hope she does. But that’s all whatever. I’ll wait.

Right now I’m just looking forward to grilling a few burgers, drinking my Pepsi, and watching a movie. Beyond that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m just trying to kill another day so that I’m closer to my darling.

I bought a gross of Pepsi. Why? The 12 packs were on sale for $1.99, how could I possibly pass that up? It’ll last me a few months at one to two a day. I’m allowed a vice so back off. I brush my teeth 3 times a day too.

The burgers I make are delicious. I prefer them rare though on occasion I’ll cook all the way up to medium well as they’re still juicy. I pat them out into quarter pounders, I add garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and Famous Dave’s seasoning to them. I grill to desired doneness and then add a slice of swiss and that’s all she wrote. It’s very tasty.

Before I forget, the Miami/Florida State University game was excellent last night. I’m more of a defense person so the Steelers are naturally fun to watch. That game had some good defensive plays but the secondary was young and weak for both sides so there was a LOT of deep passing plays. Regardless, the points didn’t get too far out of control because each team’s defense made some nice stops here and there. The kicker for FSU shanked 2 and then made the rest. It went to the very last second where Ponder threw a low pass but it was catchable. The receiver dropped it in the endzone. I liked seeing Miami win. My question is what the hell the coach was thinking by not calling a timeout and wasting 20 seconds? That prevented getting a running play or two in. Piss poor coaching.

Posted in College Football, Drinks, Food, Health, Ms. Sexy X | No Comments »

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