Here’s my problem. He’s trying to do some sort of zero tolerance policy with “personal conduct.” I can understand some punishments levied on convicted players. But who decides what is moral? One man? My issue just happens to be his latest punishment of Ben Roethlisberger. I am biased because I am a fan but that doesn’t change the argument.

We have a person who went clubbing like many other young aged folk. Him and his entourage meet up with some partying sorority girls. They know of him and are hopping from club to club with his group. Clearly there is drinking and flirting going on. They know he’s a TWO time Super Bowl winning quarterback and just got signed to a HUGE contract. They also know he had an unproven rape allegation that was dropped and the conniving female is simply trying to extort him via a civil suit. So is it any surprise one of these women claimed rape again? The DA could not prove anything happened, it’s all he said/she said. So all we have is MAYBE sex in a nightclub but that can’t even be proven. Will this influence 18-26 yr old crowd? No, college men and women will continue to club before this incident, during this incident, and after. This changes and influences nothing.

Where’s this bad conduct? Sex is natural. Most everyone does it. The body craves it. I don’t agree with the choice of location /woman/situation however that’s just a conflict of my personal view. I don’t see it as immoral. Hell, I’m sure there are hundreds of players that are taking full advantage of the fame of being an NFL player and are scoring like Chamberlain and Johnson of NBA notoriety. To me sleeping around like that is despicable. But I won’t hold it against them as that’s just a personal conflict.

As an adult I just think “so he had sex, how does this affect me?” It doesn’t. Why am I pissed? I’m pissed at the fact he was even punished. It doesn’t affect me though, right? True but I DO watch the NFL for entertainment and this whole thing takes away from it. I’ll go on living my life and this will never touch me but I still take issue with it for Ben’s sake and any other player that has been caught like this.

Whether Ben had sex or not doesn’t matter. They’re partying and this is his private life. If he did have sex… again it doesn’t matter. Everyone does (well mostly.) So this affects adults that use logic… none. Does this influence kids? Hell no. There may be an outlier here and there but as a kid I look at Magic Johnson as a basketball god and wished I could play like him. My parents went on and on about how he had sex with all those women and had AIDS. So fucking what? As a kid I wanted to play all the time and I could dream of being like Mike, Wilt, and Magic. This simply won’t influence a kid or dash dreams at all. I know I’d love to look up to a 2 time Super Bowl winning football star. As a kid I wouldn’t “know” about sex nor even care about it, I’d be thinking about having fun.

This incident does not tarnish the image of football or the NFL. That image has long been tarnished by incidents of actual convictions – look at the Cowboys or Bengals just to name a few. Roger is hurting the image more which makes it highly ironic. Now they’re damaging Ben’s career and essentially fining him $2-3 million with the suspensions. So what if he has the money? That’s not the point. He’s earned that and should be given the chance to continue to earn it.

Art Rooney is a moron. He was ready to punish Ben no matter what Roger did (as if ol’ Rog could pass up the opportunity to be a dictator.) Some say quarterbacks are held to the highest standard and making an example of him will show the team does not support his actions. In fact, there’s talk of trading him.

Are you off your fucking rocker? Do you think we’ll lose the first 4-6 games without him? If so what the hell makes you think the backups can finish the season better than that and what makes you think drafting a top quarterback will possibly net better results? Ben is a PROVEN TWO TIME SUPERBOWL WINNING QUARTERBACK. So it’s about principle now, eh? If you want to take a stand then I want every team to dump anyone that has been convicted of a crime, charged with a crime, or investigated for a crime. THAT is taking a stand. That won’t happen so don’t blow smoke up our skirts with that lame excuse.

There is no reason to punish him this harshly… or at all. No crime was committed. No immoral act was committed. Wake up people, you probably had sex this very morning. Do you feel dirty or something? Get over it, it’s natural. You probably had a drink last night so it isn’t the booze you hate. Is it that ”evil dancing and rock roll music” that  bugs you so much? This isn’t the 50’s anymore and just because you’re old doesn’t mean your train of thought is correct as the current generation is nowhere near you (and they’ll be the ones supporting the NFL.) I want the higher ups to get off their high horses.

There is no reason to even think of a trade or to punish him on a team level. Everyone has their heads so far up their asses that they can’t see the absurdity in front of them.

Despite the stupid ESPN pundits saying it’s deserved and “everyone is tired with him” it just simply isn’t true. Fans are still behind him. The big wigs are hanging him out to dry.

The Steelers pulled off a win on the Dolphins. At the same time the Texans came back and beat the Patriots effectively ending our playoff run. We’d have to have the Ravens AND Broncos lose in addition to the Jets. I’ll be dipped if the Chiefs didn’t kick the Broncos’ ass. YES! However, the Ravens barely won so that was it. It didn’t matter in either scenario because the Bungles laid down completely and just got thrashed by the Jets. That game sucked so bad I turned it off and I hope the NFL and NBC lost money on that garbage. 7 total yards of offense in the first half for the Bungles? Embarrassing.

There will be 3 re-matches of this week’s team in the playoffs. Crazy, huh? Cowboys/Eagles, Bungles/Jets, and Packers/Cardinals.

My picks:

• Eagles – hard pick, the Cowgirls have been on a roll recently but given the past few years I’m leaning towards the Eagles. I can’t stand either Romo or McNabb so I don’t care which one wins.
• Jets – normally I’d pick the Bungles but losing a few in a row and that badly to the Jets is not a good combination. Plus they are plagued with injuries. Home field may not mean jack now. I think they’d been better off against the Texans.
• Packers – let’s see where to start. One of the best passing defenses in the NFL and that’s all the Cards have. Boldin is out and while Fitzgerald is good I think he’s highly overrated by folks jumping on that bandwagon. Packers’ offense can get it done too. Coming off this win I think they’ll hand them another buttwhoopin’.
• Ravens – I was going to give this one to the Patriots but Brady apparently broke some fingers yesterday. Ravens’ have a D and with the Pats’ O looking shaky this may be the shift those Ratbirds need. Mediocre is a good way to describe both the offense of Baltimore and the defense of New England.
• No matter who wins I think the Chargers and Colts will beat those incoming teams. After that I’m going with the Chargers for the AFC win.
• I can’t quite call the NFC like that. Normally I’d say the Saints and Vikings have it but both have been shaky the past few weeks. I think the Packers could beat either one, more likely the Saints.
• I’m going to call Vikings and Chargers in the Super Bowl and I’m actually going with the Chargers for the win.
• Key factor here – the Saints and Colts taking it easy after clinching. Those numerous losses and not being fresh will be a curse. History shows that. They should have went for all or nothing. I know the risk of injury, look at all the injuries. As a competitor I’d want to give it my all otherwise the win would seem hollow.

I’ll schedule a post for tomorrow since I’m going under the knife for some outpatient surgery. Should they fuck up and I die oh well. No real loss to me. ;-) I’ve got nothing to live for at the moment so it’s all whatever. I guess that’s why it’s the best time to do it now. Afterwards I’ll try to get back on my horse and live life.

I also watched the UK vs UofL game yesterday. It was scrappy from the getgo, Bledsoe fouls a few seconds into the game (bullshit call) and he’s going off. Calipari has to bench him so he cools down. Not but 30 seconds later 3 technical fouls are assessed in a mini-brawl. This shit is getting real and the record 24k+ crowd in Rupp Arena is about to explode. This rivalry has far reaching implications in the Bluegrass. Neither team can hit a basket in the first half and the defense played is stellar. Fouls are flying left and right easily hitting the one and one bonus with 10 to go in the first. By the second half Louisville manages to cut the lead after a 5 point swing when Patterson misses a wide open dunk (BRICK) and they nail a trey. They get up one point 42-41 before John Wall (who is back in the game from a cramp) finally gets back in rhythm and tears ‘em apart. It’s tense up to the buzzer but UK retains the lead at around ten points with some rare missed free throws from Wall. Kentucky extends the unbeaten record to 15-0.

Today is a day of relax and rest for me. I’m going to watch football all day to keep my mind busy. I need the Steelers to win and the Texans and Jets to lose. Unfortunately, the teams they’re playing may rest their starters fucking our chances for the playoffs. I have a few bills to get in order but that’s it.

I was thinking and figured that if Ms. Sexy X is happier without me in her life then that’s what I want. Hey, I may not be as happy but oh well. I’ve always been interested in her happiness so if this is what it takes I’ll accept that. Only she can answer that and I guess she has. I don’t have to like the decision but I’d never force myself upon anyone so I have to move on. That’s hard and will take a lot of time. As stated above I try to keep busy but many times I slip up. If I ask myself ”is my life better off without MSX?” I’d answer no in a heartbeat. Someone that is super smart, can make me laugh all the time, and has such a huge heart, and cares about me. That is a no-brainer. I want ME to be happy but not at her expense. Fare thee well, my love. ;-) I hope she finds happiness wherever she goes.

I didn’t celebrate Christmas. I just didn’t feel like it. I have some depression going on but it’s not that. I just feel empty. It wasn’t really a big deal to me. I made a delicious lasagna.

I talked to Ms. Sexy X last Saturday and before we got off I asked her to call Christmas day to which she said she would. She didn’t. :-( She did send a text. I guess that’s something. I’m not going to push either. It just sucks. I’m not getting any gifts but that’s the one thing I’d like is to just hear her voice. Oh well. Will she call tonight? I’m not counting on it. Before she was in the hospital, I knew she couldn’t manage a call. Now that I know she can and doesn’t, well it hurts. I know why I guess. It still sucks though. I miss her so badly.

Today I went to the bar with a friend to watch the Steelers game. There must have been 50+ fans in there and 3 Ravens fans. The Ravens fans got all cocky when they picked Ben off for a touchdown but it was cancelled due to a hold. I was laughing because they had rubbed it in and the whole place erupted and rubbed into their faces. That game was crazy, talk about two evenly matched teams. Penalties killed the Ratbirds and our stellar defense and run game are hard to be found in the second half of this season. There’s still playoff contention if the Broncos lose tonight and the Texans lose next week and of course the Steelers win. The Jets need to lose but the fucking Colts are playing their 2nd and 3rd strings so the Jets will win this. Hopefully the Bungles will beat them next week.

I’m just depressed right now. I know MSX is the one for me but I am stuck in limbo here on that. My job is dead end and I’m nervous about the move. I’ll have to do what it takes because I can’t just sit here and let life pass me by. Another 10 days and I can start to put things in motion.

Fuck it. I’m going.

The offense showed up so much so that Woodson (arguably one of the best cornerbacks in the league even if he’s getting a tad old) kept getting penalties because he kept getting burned. Mike Wallace gets a bomb thrown to him and he has to stop to get it because Big Ben didn’t throw it far enough and spins around for the first touchdown of the game with a 1-play, 60 YD TD pass in :02. Crazy. Mathews is a beast of a defensive end and he just worked our left tackle Starks. I felt sorry for him. Lots of pressure on Big Ben but he managed to stay on his feet and get 503 yards and 3TDs… the most yardage of the year for any QB and a franchise record. Holmes, Wallace, Ward, and Miller were all equally thrown to and stepped up with very few errors.

Many have criticized Tomlin’s decision for an onside kick with a little over 4 minutes in the game and up by only 2 points. I applauded him since it was a win/win situation. Firstly, our defense was running backwards in the fourth quarter. Had we kicked it deep they would have ate up the clock and scored anyways (FG or TD) giving us no time left to rebut. So giving it up at the 39 isn’t a horrible scenario as we’d have clock to work with and we’d need only one score giving us the win. Secondly, had the onside worked we would have most likely scored and ate up the clock while being up TWO scores and essentially cinching the game. It ALMOST worked had Ike Taylor waited one extra bounce as no one was really that close. Too bad.

It was the last 2 minute drive that impressed. Flags on both sides kept it tense. Going down to fourth and ten makes it moreso. I’m holding my breath as he lasers one into Holmes hands between two defenders. It looks like a pick but no! I see Holmes take a mad dash to the sidelines and I cheer! Few more plays gets it to the 20 yard line. 1st and 10 but with so little time it’s all or nothing. Throw it away once when Ward was coming across and he didn’t see. Put it in the back of the endzone but too high. :03 seconds left, only one play left. The ball is hiked and Ben waits. He’s watching and a lineman breaks through and grabs him. Everyone holds there breath as the game is over as the time is out and he’s wrapped up. But wait! Being Big Ben he works his miracle and steps out of the tackle and steps into the pocket. He spies Wallace running post and shoots a quick one to where only Wallace can catch it but only if he lays out and toe taps in a la Holmes and Super Bowl XLIII greatness. The rookie does just that and pulls it in for an amazing touchdown to tie the game and Reed finishes with the point after. First time a game has ended in the score 37-36. An amazing finish to a great game.

This was an important win. All the wildcard teams are .500 now giving us a legitimate shot if the numbers fall right. Finishing out the season by beating the Ravens and Dolphins should eliminate them. The Broncos can fall, they just lost to the Raiders and they have to travel to Philly to take on the red hot Eagles. It ain’t over yet! Not to mention that Troy Polamalu should be back to lead our defense.

I haven’t done shit all day. I don’t mind but I’m bored and lonely. This would be one of those perfect lounge days. I find myself thinking about what she’s doing. Oy vey. I feel a bit down today.

I have 3 things to look forward to. In a while I’m going to workout. After that I’ll watch John Wall (aka “The Truth!”) and UK light it up against UNC-Ash and then MNF with the Saints and Pats. I couldn’t care less about all these – I love watching sports but right now they only serve as a distraction. Hell, the Pittsburgh loss to the ratbirds last night doesn’t really bother me. Granted, it’s made the race tighter for the wild card but it’s all whatever. There are more important things to think about.

This game is pissing me off. It’s coming down to the 4th quarter again and the Steelers fall apart. Holmes makes a great run after the catch to set up for 1st and goal. Mendenhall takes the ball and attempts to LEAP over someone for an extra yard with the goal line a good 6 yards away. Of course the ball comes out and the Vikings drive down the field. It’s 3rd down and the Vikings have an illegal shift for a 5 yard penalty but the Steelers defense stops the play 7 yards short of a first down. So with a 4th and 7 and a punt Tomlin takes the penalty and makes them repeat. Can you guess what happens? Sidney Rice makes a very nice catch with Polamalu knocking him out. The Vikings get in the red zone and I’m super pissed until the defense steps up. Keisel strips the ball from Favre, sacking him and Lamar Woodley scoops it up and run. The most impressive part was our defense swarmed and blocked everyone trying to tackle Woodley leading him to a 90 yard TD!! We should have scored on that drive anyways.

Our special teams let Harvin run a kickoff back for a touchdown. I saw some holds but the worst part was Jeff Reed had an easy tackle and he puts his hand on him and that’s it! He lets him go. That pisses me off so much so now the Vikings are within 3 again.

Favre had an impressive run back to the redzone but they were killing themselves with penalties. He tried a quick screen Chester Taylor who missed the ball and tipped into the hands of waiting Fox for the interception. He ran it all the way back to the house for a pick six! That made it a ten point game with one minute to go, effectively ending the game. Once again the Pittsburg defense steps up huge and they blocked all the way down the field for Fox. What a great ending to a great game!

The Chiefs won over the horrible Redskins just barely. 4 field goals and at the end they sealed the deal with a sack in the end zone resulting in a safety. Congrats to them but they have a loooong way to go unfortunately. I’m happy for Ms. Sexy X since that’s her team.

The Vikings barely scraped by with a win. I wouldn’t mind seeing them lose but since it was the Ravens… I’m glad they did win. The ratbirds put on a helluva 4th quarter to come way back and gain the lead. Favre gets the team into field goal distance where Longwell seals the deal. Flacco gets them all the way down into the 30 yard range for a long field goal. Whoever did the play calling needs to be shot. The Vikings D was wore down so they should have been trying for end zone not field position. Their kicker looked scared and he shanks it left for the loss. Oh well.

Now I’m back at home and I’ve got nothing to do. I am watching the New England game but they’re just killing the Titans 45-0 at the half. Brady has had 5 TD passes in one quarter. It’s embarrassing. So I’m bored and I’m trying not to think about anything. I’ll work out in a little while. I’m a bit tired but fuck it.

I sat in bed all day. I took a hot shower and ate to warm up this morning but I got back in bed and read a bit of the Vampire Chronicles until 1PM. I then streamed the Steelers game on my computer. The two streams I used were okay if not a bit grainy. I tried getting the Chiefs game forever since they were beating the cowgirls and I finally got it though it was choppy as hell. I called the Bengals beating the Ravens, to my dismay and delight. I don’t like the Ravens, I want them to lose like my Steelers did. But the bungles are just embarrassing to lose to and they now have the lead in the division with 3 wins. UGH. I watched the Broncos beat the Patriots which I also called. I think I’ll buy a lotto ticket tomorrow. ;-)

I watched Surrogates which was not the best movie, a little bit trippy but kind of bland. Then I watched most of the Colts spanking the Titans. I came back to the house here to shower and finish my night with the movie 28 Weeks Later. Yes, I’m bored and on a zombie kick.

I wrote a letter that I’ll probably send out tomorrow. It will sit in Ms. Sexy X’s mailbox, though her cousin may bring the mail in. Still, she won’t read it for a while which is fine. What’s the point? I don’t know, I just want to keep sending her letters. This one is going to have a little something with it though. :-) I know she’ll like it even if she says I shouldn’t.

I’m feeling okay. Those texts the other night helped a bunch. I guess I’m just tired right now and a little blah. I’m not expecting anything for a while so anything like the other night will be a pleasantly uplifting surprise for me.

Wow, what a beautiful trick play. Our fullback rolls out right to block as Big Ben throws an option pitch to halfback Mewelde Moore who’s generally a short yardage back. Heath Miller is running back of endzone and Moore throws a great TD pass to him. That’s something I wouldn’t expect at all and apparently neither did the Chargers defense! Miller also busted loose and caught a fade pass to the left corner of the endzone shaking off the linebacker on him. Good stuff!

Moore also had a pass to him which resulted in a touchdown. Rashad Mendenhall opened up a can of whoop ass with 160+ yards of rushing plus ran in two touchdowns thanks to the help of our o-line and his good running. He was benched last week so I think that lit a mental fire under his ass. Between him and Parker it’s nice to see a running game again. Mike Wallace seems to still be doing good. Ward and Holmes had nice solid performances. There was a drop by each of them but they made the other plays that counted. That fourth receiver spot is still open between Sweed and McDonald. I know Sweed should have it if he can hold on to the ball. He has the talent.

Okay, I’m really getting pissed at our defense. We got man coverage on Gates who is just moving like it’s nothing. Timmons was on him but got faked and there wasn’t any safety over the top. He needs to jam him at the line some more. You can tell there’s a huge difference without Troy Polamalu in the game. Good lord I can’t wait until he comes back.

WHAT THE FUCK! They do a pooch kick and onside it and our guy jumps on it but misses it and the chargers have the ball. Gates gets another pass with Harrison covering him and then he pass interferes with him. This is so fucking retarded. Our defense just fell completely apart. We’re going to lose in the 4th quarter again. Fuck this shit.

I almost hate to say it but our offensive line has performed very well tonight. They’ve opened up all sorts of running lanes and held the pressure off of Roethlisberger. It’s about fucking time. The beauty of it is they’ve done it the past 3 games. I was worried watching the preseason games and the Titans game but our offense is looking explosive which is wonderful. I can’t believe our defense is so anemic. The Steelers drive the ball but get two penalties to push them back. After a checkdown to Moore and a gain of 10-15 that puts Reed in field goal range but he missed two last week. I’m nervous as hell and Pittsburgh ices their own kicker what was funny. They could have had them milling around because we all know they were going to call it to waste as much time as possible, no need to let them get set. He still nailed it squarely and there was plenty of cushion as 3 defensive players lined up offsides. (Only Cromartie got called, no big deal anyways.)

James Harrison comes through big by sacking Rivers and forcing a fumble for a Steeler recovery and a V-Formation to end the game. This team really knows how to make their fans hold their breaths. Good fucking god. What a game and night. Oy.