Archive for the ‘Exercise’ Category

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Wednesday, February 10th, 2010

I guess a few things have happened lately.

I went to a Three Days Grace/Breaking Benjamin concert. It was great.

I talked with MSX a few days ago. That was pleasant. I’m still thinking about her a bunch. I miss her.

I’ve been going to physical therapy a bunch. I have fun there and all the staff likes me. Today I helped one of their kids with his math. He’s a smart kid, I gave him a few pointers. Unfortunately, I reversed a problem and gave him the wrong answer and he had the right one! Oy. It felt good to do a little tutoring there. :-) My last appointment is coming up soon. Damn. I’m seeing lots of improvement though.

I may have sprained or fractured my finger. I don’t think it’s broke as I’m typing with it now and it doesn’t hurt. It’s just sore and purple and slightly swollen. That’s gone down a bunch since a few days ago.

I’ve a few other little things coming up. I’m still packing for my big move. I can’t wait! I am getting more nervous though. Blah.

This past month has given me a time to step back and review where I’m at. I wish it wasn’t like this but I’ve made the best of it and am improving myself so it isn’t a loss. I wish there was an easier way.

I’ve had maybe 6 Pepsis in the past month. It’s weird. I crack one open and drink 1/3-1/2 of it and don’t feel like having any more. I’d say it’s psychological. Heck, as soon as I can I’m going to start working out again, I’ve lost too much weight. :-/ I need to gain 15-20lbs of hopefully muscle. Fun stuff.

Right now there’s a mix of psuedo depression, anxiety, realization, learning, and hope going on right now. I get glimpses of each I suppose you could say. Hope is what I hang on to.

I may go running in shorts with snow on the ground. I’m debating it right now.

Fuck it. I plan on having fun and doing things my way.

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Now Where Was I?

Sunday, January 17th, 2010

I know I haven’t posted in a while. I’ve thought about it but just didn’t feel like doing it. My recovery is going along nicely. I have a lot of movement back and I have fun at physical therapy. Crazy, I know. But I joke around a lot and the therapist jokes back and her helper does too. Actually all of them will join in. One of the guys is pretty funny. My therapist says I’m pretty witty. I don’t know about that. I have my moments I guess. I know a few of them from a few years ago when I went to PT. Fun times.

I had a few rants and raves but I don’t care anymore. It’s all fucking whatever. I’m getting excited at moving. I’m planning my cross country trip. That’s still a huge hurdle but I don’t care. It could be the biggest mistake of my life but I won’t know until I try it. Fuck it, I’m going. :-) It’s a nice city and it’s near other major cities (I say near but a few hours minimum.)

I’m hoping my plan works out. Getting another job will be an issue I’m sure. I want to become a cop but I got a few ideas on jobs in the meantime. I think I’ll joing a gym and work on boxing type of activities. No serious training I don’t expect but I’d like to learn some juijitsu or something. The least I can do is weightlift.

There’s so many paths, who really knows? I just know I have to strike out on one of them and not sit at the crossroads any longer.

I’m still saddened a bit, I’ll start to tear up out of nowhere. I don’t fight it, it’ll go away after a few minutes. That’s how it goes.

One thing I still can’t figure out is what to eat. I need to cook something but I need a recipe book or something because I’m getting bored of eating bland meals. I need more time and money or at the very least my arm to heal up so it won’t be a pain in the ass.

Today… today is some more playoff games. The Vikings and Cowboys play in a few and the Jets and Chargers play. I’m going Vikings/Chargers in this one because that’s who I think will go to the Super Bowl. Thankfully the Cardinals had their asses taxed by the Saints because they’re a garbage team and I’m tired of the media talking them up. The Colts dismantled the Ravens… the ratbird’s offense just didn’t show up.

I’m tired and cranky. I want to fucking go. I feel like I’m on the edge of a dip in a roller coaster or a massive storm that is about to break. I’m holding my breath praying for a moment to breathe. I’ve felt like this since… what October? September? End of May?

My lunch is going to consist of a glass of water and a Sara Lee cinnamon raisin bagel with Philadelphia cream cheese. Simple and delicious. Every time I eat one, every time I have a Pepsi it reminds me. There’s no getting around that. I chuckle every time I bite into the top half first. I’m so dorky… it brings tears to my eyes. Ha. :-(

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It’s All About Mindset

Sunday, January 10th, 2010

Whether it be quitting drinking, quitting smoking, quitting any drugs, changing jobs, doing a job, sports, relationships… everything is about the proper mindset. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “you can achieve anything you put your mind to.” It’s both absolutely true while simultaneously being bullshit. Let’s face it, no matter how much heart you have you’re not going to be a star quarterback while being a quadriplegic. But if you’re healthy and able to do something I think you can achieve it. True some talent and luck is required but not necessary. You may not be the greatest at whatever but at least you can do it.

What brings me to this is seeing this guy lose 125lbs in under a year. I haven’t read through the blog because it would bore me but I’m sure there’s a great story there. http://www.344pounds.com/ The key is to have the proper mindset which he has. I always tell people that want to lose weight that it is easy – simply don’t eat! I’m dead serious but not realistic. You should eat some but I would severly restrict it so that your stomach shrinks and becomes accustomed to less. Drink lots of water – dump soda, coffee, and beer. Once you get down to where you want to be you can drink it all again. I drink on average 2 Pepsis a day and I’m underweight. I’m trying to gain weight. This surgery has made me hungry as hell. It’s actually helping counter the depression feeling of not wanting to eat. I’ve lost weight again (under 160… damn.) If I gain weight I want it to be muscle, I’m pretty lean right now so I don’t want it in the form of a gut. If you’re prepared to lose weight be sure to eat less and excercise. It’s pretty simple – burn off more calories than you take in. Once you get to being active you can eat more because your body burns more, you’ll feel energetic, and eat some healthy shit every now and then. I’m a meat and potatos kind of guy but I’ll throw down some veggies and fruits every now and then. I also take multivitamins once a day. Don’t give me the excuse of being “big boned” because you’re not… you’re fat and have no self control, no will power, and no shame apparently. Don’t give me a thyroid excuse either. Mindset is all I want from you that you CAN and WILL do what it takes.

This can be applied to many things. Right now I need to apply it to my relationships. It’s a work in progress. “I can’t” shouldn’t be in anyone’s vocabulary if the task is reasonable. I had a better rant before but this goddamned server took a shit for a few minutes and lost it. Oh well.

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Choke Out

Thursday, October 22nd, 2009

I went into work not feeling like doing shit. The machine was broke again and after spending 4.5 hours on it I gave up and went home early. That gave me from 1500 on to do whatever and with it being 70 and sunny, I opted to stay outside. What to do though? Well, it had been a while since I had a cigar so I got a glass of water, a Bolivar Cofradia No. 754, my dual torch lighter, cigar cutter, and put on some shorts and sat out on the deck. I smoked it for a good hour and twenty minutes down to the very end. It was very relaxing. I just sat outside thinking on what to do. I didn’t come up with a damned thing. I just have to take it a day at a time. I hate the uncertainty.

After that, I threw a football with my brother for about an hour. He stopped by and I was feeling energetic. So much so that I was going to go for a mile run. I don’t need to tell you that running after smoking isn’t a smart idea but fuck it. I barely made half a mile before resting for 2 minutes then running back a half mile. I was tired… not really out of breath but I figure I didn’t have a whole lot of oxygen in my system.

I went up to the roof right after to catch my breath and cool off and watch the sunset. Much to my dismay the clouds rolled in so I didn’t get to see much of anything. I went back inside and took a hot bath, I just soaked my legs for a good while before I showered. I watched the Ultimate Fighter and then watched “the Shining.” I forgot how looooooong that movie is. Jeez.

Rampage Jackson is such a dick. I don’t like him at all. He berates and berates. He is a horrible coach, he doesn’t build his guys up but merely talks smack about the opponents. It’s no wonder he is about to get sweeped just like last year. He kept calling Darrill “titties” even though his own boy Zac had bigger man boobs. Darrill is beastly for drinking that much alcohol especially when trying to get in shape to fight. Stupid. I wanted Zac to win, he’s a bit of a social outcast. He looked okay in the fight but kept his guard too low and took too many quick shots to the face. He had the nice and much needed takedown to escape defeat and he hammerfisted nicely. You could see how tired or dazed he was. He allowed himself to get into a triangle choke within Darrill’s legs. He held on for a long time but made no attempt to break it and Darrill finally got the extra leverage using his arm to help choke him out. Oh well. I like Rashad and I think he could easily kick Rampage’s ass especially since that pussy chickened out on the fight. (Rampage commented that Rashad wanted to hold on to the belt longer so he refused a fight. Riiiight, like he wanted to get his face destroyed by Lyoto Machida over your pansy ass… that totally makes sense.)

I slept in until 1000 today. I was happy about that. I got on my computer just fiddling around, putting off what I needed to do. There’s a song called “Breathe Into Me” by Red that I discovered and like. I finally got to writing a letter to Ms. Sexy X. Well, it was more of a poem I had written for her a while back. I have one more as well. I also sent her a long email about some stuff. I don’t know when she’ll read that as she doesn’t have access to it. I was going to send via regular mail but she won’t see that for a while and it didn’t feel right to send it through that. It took a little while for both things to get them perfect. Then I went to the hospital to fix some billing issues. I just got back and ate.

I’ve gotten a bunch out of the way today. I feel good to some extent. There’s a depression looming overhead so I can’t get too excited. I have to come up with ideas. Oy.

A new Vampire Diaries is on tonight. I like the show well enough but it’s a bit too… teen/high school/dramatic for my tastes. That said I read the books and they’re only loosely following them but I still enjoy watching them. True Blood doesn’t start again until next summer I think. So fucking far away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkXPw_lorew

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Little Of Everything

Wednesday, October 21st, 2009

Today was a waste of a day. I woke up, went to work, fiddled around with a machine for the whole shift, then went home. I’m getting impatient, I need to go.

When I got home I grabbed a Pepsi and head for the roof to watch the sunset. It was actually warm out so I had put on shorts and a T-shirt. It was pretty. All I could think of was why this is happening, how can such hate, malice, and evil thrive in a world so beautiful. It’s fucking disappointing. I was looking for inspiration on what to do, where to go. I’m at a loss really and that’s even more frustrating.

From there I went on to the back deck with a football and just threw to some chairs for a while. The deck is rather large. I threw the ball off the deck a few times for fun and ran up and down the hill to get it. I did that for a good bit, about 20 minutes I’d say. After that I did a bunch of pullups, 40 to be exact. I also did 40 knee ups. My abs are burning. I’m sure I’m strengthening them though I wish I had washboard status going on. Well, it’s no big deal but it’d be nice.

I watched the new NCIS. It was a forgettable episode. Tony (Michael) wasn’t as funny as normal. Something just seemed off about the whole episode, perhaps because it was themed? I’m not sure. I still enjoy it and the killer was easy to guess, I did right off the bat. My suspicions were confirmed the longer they went after everyone else… the lack of talking about that person made me know it’d be her.

Sons of Anarchy was pretty good. The crew were up to their shenanigans again and a lot of things happened. I’ll write up that post later. I can’t wait until next week’s. Oy.

I also watched Enemy of the State after the show. I forgot how long that movie is. It’s a classic though, I like it.

Now I’m going to go eat leftovers and I don’t know what else. Maybe I’ll go to bed early. I’m sort of tired. I just don’t want to lie here thinking. I know I’m sort of sad/depressed but I’m not letting it phase me. I’m just neutral right now. I don’t know how long I can hold myself at that. I just have to keep doing what I have to do and maybe things will fall into place. I’m trying, all I need is a chance.

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Cleaning Frenzy

Monday, October 12th, 2009

I woke up this morning very comfortable and not wanting to get out of bed. I actually woke up way early but I finally awoke at 9AM. I managed to finally get a little more sleep until 11AM but I don’t really consider that sleep. I was well rested, I just wanted to try and get more. Anyways, what got me out of bed was a shower and breakfast. I love lounging but I need to take a shower or else I feel grimy. I settled back in bed to watch NCIS. I love that show, Michael Weatherly is by far my favorite character, he makes that show what it is. I made a to-do list and realized I needed to send off my letter. Apparently, it’s a holiday so the timing didn’t matter as the post office is closed (trying to hit the 3:30 pickup.) Oh well. Back to the letter… I had typed it up but hadn’t written it yet. I like to hand write my letters to Ms. Sexy X, it’s more special and romantic I think. Normally I don’t do a rough draft but I found it easier to get all my thoughts out because I can type much quicker than I can write and that allows me to not forget what I want to say. It took me 1.5 hours to write my letter. My hand cramps up due to my wrist injury so it’s no surprise when I have to rest it frequently. I sent the shirt with letter inside and it should arrive by Thursday. Now she won’t read it until much later so I guess it doesn’t even matter. She indicated my last letter never arrived because her cousin said she didn’t see anything. :-(

I panicked because I couldnt find a receipt for a laser printer I bought the other day on sale. I bought my brother’s old one for much cheaper so I returned this one. The receipt was where I originally thought it was, it just fell under a box somehow.

When I got back home I decided to tackle cleaning the bathrooms. No problem for mine and the other bathroom but my brother left the master bath a complete fucking mess. It was dirty nasty. I should have made his ass clean it up but I opted to. I scrubbed and scrubbed which isn’t easy when you have a bum wrist. It’s not spotless, but it is far closer to being clean than it was after only a hour and a half of cleaning.

I then vacuumed as much as I could, getting the crevices good before I put down bug spray. I’ve killed 3 wolf spiders and 2 silverfish lately so I had to get on that.

I decided to go run a mile tonight as well. Yeah, I was tired but fuck it. I ran almost the whole mile, the last hundred yards I did a full out sprint. My legs still felt fresh and my lungs felt good, I could have gone another mile or two I bet. But I just cooled down, did a little backwards running, and then took a cold shower just in time to settle down in bed to watch some Monday Night Football.

I called the Dolphins to win this, confusing the Jets D with their wildcat formations. So far that’s been working. The Jets had two major drive saving fake punts which revived the drive and led to two scores (TD and FG.) The game might be much more lopsided if it wasn’t for that. The Dolphins have been using Ronnie Brown and Ricky Williams to great effect. They’ve eaten up so much clock as usual. Michael Vick would be the perfect QB for this wildcat offense. I’m impressed at the running game, that’s all it is. If they could get some good pass plays in, wow the offense would be untouchable.

I’ll probably watch a movie or something after this. I’m not sure. I’m bored and lonely. My mom called earlier today and pissed me off as usual. I’m about done with this shit. During my vacation I’m going to see if I can’t look for an apartment so I can just move. I’ll get a new phone too. Whether I disconnect the old one will depend on how much she bugs me. I don’t hate them or anything but she keeps annoying me about stupid shit and I’m just fed up.

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Tie Red

Saturday, October 10th, 2009

I went running two nights ago. I had gone to sleep at around 4AM and awoken at 9AM that morning and went to work and didn’t eat a thing all day. I just wasn’t hungry. I ran a mile and a half. Yesterday I woke up and was bit tired. I really wasn’t too bad. I worked all day and came home and Ms. Sexy X texted me. :-) I texted a few things back to her but no response. After going 20 days without talking and then she was despairing… I don’t know. But getting that text I could tell her mood was better and it meant a lot to me. I honestly didn’t expect to hear from her again for quite a while, certainly not one day later.

I went to the movies with some friends to see Zombieland. I don’t care for theaters or overpriced tickets, besides most movies are okay but nothing that really interests me. I’m always down for watching a movie if it’s free so it’s not a slight against movies themselves.

Then she sent a sweet little message while there. I texted her back. She said she felt horrible and that her mom was texting. Awww crap, I felt embarrassed. But she let me know that she was reading them and not her mom. Okay, that’s cool. That was the last of the texts but I’ll take them. :-) I really hope she does that again sometime, I loooove getting them from her. Sigh.

The movie itself was funny. There were dead spots and lame humor at some points but I was amused especially at the over the top gore. I don’t think I can recommend it to go see it but if you’re one of those that goes to the movies anyways then I would recommend it.

The rules were stupid, the first was “cardio,” second is “double tap,” and third is “beware of bathrooms,” with the fourth being “seatbelts.” That just doesn’t make sense. Double tap should be number one if anything. It was done for humor but still. I’m not sure why he used a double barrel shotgun. While it’s nice, he had better weapons like automatic or pump shotguns, fully automatic machine pistols (how I’m not sure,) and of course pistols. His stance of holding it with a chicken wing was pitiful, I know he’s playing the dork role but still. What’s the deal with Woody’s sawed off lever action? You’re living with zombies and you have to cock your rifle everytime? Ever hear of carrying one in the chamber? I know, I’m getting too technical. Some of this stuff added to the humor of the film. Let’s not forget the twinkies, I was laughing at that. Twinkies are okay but sometimes I’ll have an unforgiving urge for one.

This morning I felt really tired and I still do. I worked for a few hours and now I’m watching football. I’m trying to motivate myself to do something but I’m not faring very well. I need to workout today and do a little cleaning.

I just love hearing our fearless leader getting the Nobel Peace Prize for his whole 9 months in office. It must be nice to be black, affirmative action apparently reaches all the way to Geneva. Who am I kidding? The ultra liberal europeans are leading that pack. Meanwhile there’s hundreds of people slaving away to make the world a better place and what do they get? I know, it’s not about recognition but that’s just fucking harsh. /rant

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SO FUCKING PISSED!

Friday, September 25th, 2009

Where do I fucking start?

Okay… so today was okay. My morning went by fine. I’ve been thinking about my Ms. Sexy X, it’s been a week now. It sucks but what can I do? I’m keeping a good attitude. I’m worried as usual but that’s nothing new. I haven’t felt depressed… well I had a moment but it was only a moment. Overall, I’ve been feeling good.

I was teasing a manager of mine and she decided to get smart with me so I got smart back with her. She comes back at me later to do the same thing and I was a bit pissed but I think she was just messing with me. The way she did it was really smart and you know what I gave her? The same thing with a heavy dose of sarcasm. I just didn’t care.

After work I got on my pull up bar. I did 4 sets of various 7 reps. I used to be able to do 10-11 but when I stopped 3 months ago… that went downhill so I’m working my way back up. I maxed at 8. Those straps are beastly. I cannot hold my legs out straight but I can hold them out somewhat. I can only hold for maybe 30 seconds, to be honest I just go until I drop. But I follow up each pull up set with a set of 10 reps of bringing the knees up to the chest and back down while using my arms to make sure I’m holding myself up straight. That shit works the abs, I can feel it. Whether that does anything for me I don’t know but we’ll see.

What pissed me off is I got off work to log on here and immediately got a virus. God damned iframe injection again. Is there anyway I can block this shit? I don’t use iframes and I don’t want it. I installed several antivirus plugins for this blog and they didn’t do anything. I’ve contacted my hosts and they’re looking into it. I’ve also changed the file permissions. I fucking HATE hackers.

I do apologize if there is a rare reader that even sees this blog (not just for the content! ;-)) I’m not adding anything to this site like that… I HATE popups. This is invisible so you can’t see the popup but it does open up an unsecure connection to a malicious website. Apparently this type of attack is happening a lot lately so I’m not alone in that regards. It still sucks. I have to go in and edit the files or overwrite them with the backups which pisses me off. I try to do that every morning in order to catch it (the attacks come at 3AM it seems like.) Unfortunately, I had to work so the soonest I could look was this evening. I hope no one but me got infected (which I immediately fixed thanks to a recent system restore.)

I’m not sure how but the attacker will somehow inject one line of code that opens an iframe on the user’s computer which opens a website that you can’t see. Hence “iframe injection” is what it is called. They insert it into the index.php or index.html files. It’s easy to detect but you’d think there’d be an easy way to block it too.

Then I go to eat at a restaurant tonight and the waiter was horrible. At first it took a while but it was busy in there so we chalked it up to that. The place started clearing out shortly after we sat down and they were trying to order beer (I stuck with ice water, thankfully.) We put our order in pretty quick so it came out in a timely manner. They had empty beer glasses and ordered more by the time the pizza came out they still didn’t have a refill. As we ate he never checked up on us. Finally they ordered more beer by the time I asked for a to go box. It took quite a few minutes to get that… whatever. The next time he came around they ordered more beer and I asked for my check. It took a while to get the check, again no problem. I had my card ready when he handed it to me but he gave it to me and turned around and was flirting with two ugly ass women. WHAT THE FUCK? Then he wandered off. It took 30 minutes before he ran my card and when he did he managed to add a beer to my ticket. I waited 15 minutes for him to come back and when he didn’t, I got a manager and complained. He fixed the ticket but I wasn’t sure if he’d do anything. The store manager is real good about this stuff so I’ll email her. I didn’t leave a tip nor will I sit in his section again. That reminds me of this one waitress I think I got fired… well the final straw I’d guess. That’s for another time.

Now I’m here in a pissy mood and alone in bed. I hate that shit. I just want to wrap my arms around my woman and just lay there with her next to me… gawd. Now I’m in a pissy AND sad mood. Ha, I’m a dork.

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I Hate Cell Phones

Monday, September 14th, 2009

I just got a dozen text messages from Ms. Sexy X. She’s been sending messages but either her carrier is delaying them big time or mine is. Either way, that pisses me off that I’m not getting them when she sends them. :-( I was super happy to get them though. :-) That’s certainly a great way to start off my morning! (I love cell phones, I guess I just loathe them. Ha.)

On to the NFL. Wow, what a day. Truthfully, I didn’t watch all the games. I just didn’t feel like it though I’ve seen all the replays now and I did watch some of the games.

The first game of interest was the Vikings/Browns game. I expected the Vikes to take it easy enough but the Browns did give them a run for their money for a while. But when you have Adrian Peterson, it’s pretty much over. He can be shut down though… if their defense was stronger I’d say they’d be real good Super Bowl contenders. The NFC is weak though so anything can happen (hell like the Cardinals going… hahaha!) AP had a sick run where he juked, stiff armed, and raced his way to a TD.

I’ve been telling folks that play fantasy football to pick up Drew Brees. The Saints may not be winning games but with 5,000 passing yards in last season alone, he’s a guarantee for points. Once again he rained the bombs down, this time all over the Lions. You knew that was coming. 358 yards and SIX touchdown passes…You’re looking at 52 fantasy points off of him alone! He had a great pass and a great catch to tight end Jeremy Shockey who had the presence of mind to keep both toes in the goal and get possession of the ball with two defensive backs falling on him. Wow. I’ve also said to get Greg Jennings (or Donald Driver if GJ isn’t available.) Aaron Rodgers proves he can handle the Packers offense and those are his goto guys. In a West Coast Offense, you can expect major yardage and touchdowns from them both. They dismantled the Bears yesterday. Somehow it managed to be a close game even though the douche that is Jay Cutler got picked FOUR times. Crazy, huh? He’s garbage. Unfortunately for them, Brian Urlacher had a season ending wrist injury. Ouch. Rodgers ended the game with a play action pass to a wide open Jennings. The safety read run and bit leaving a stumbling corner who had trouble all game to begin with to handle the veteran receiver. He launched the pass and that’s all she wrote!

I was watching the Broncos/Bengals game only slightly. The Bungles always get air time around here which sucks. I wasn’t too interested as both teams are garbage. I will say this, the Broncos won it off a tipped pass intended for Marshall and Stokley was there to grab the tip and run it all the way down to the one yard line where he showed his veteran abilities by running parallel to the goal line to drain every last second he could before waltzing in for the TD. I’m glad they lost, Chad Johnson pisses me off as does Marvin Lewis.

Speaking of 4 picks, Jake Delhomme threw 4 interceptions and had a fumble yesterday. His backup threw a pick and then the 3rd string backup threw a pick. Wow. I sure hope no one had him on their team else they’re looking at major negative points.

I watched the episode of True Blood last night. I’ll get around to posting about that later. Right now I’m outside tanning. It was slow at first but I was glad to finally see an end to the Mary Ann saga.

I saw a news blurb about Kanye West taking the microphone away from Taylor Swift at the VMAs. He’s one of the biggest douches out there. I rank him down there with Sean Penn, Chris “Woman Beater” Brown, and Jay Cutler just to name a few. He embarrassed Beyonce who got up there to accept a later award and she invited Swift back out on stage so she could properly accept. There’s a class act though I would have went one step further to denounce West. He doesn’t deserve a damned thing that he has.

My abs hurt today. It’s been a while since I did pull ups and I pushed myself too hard yesterday. My arms are sore too.

I feel okay today. I still have a slight lingering cough which is pissing me off because there’s no reason to be coughing anymore. I’m a tad sore, a wee bit tired, but I’m feeling good in spirit. I did get to talk with Ms. Sexy X the other day regardless of it getting cut short. True that pisses me off but I’ll take what I can get. It’s also true that I’m pissed about all the text messages getting delayed but I did get them and they did make me laugh. So overall, I’m happy to a certain extent. I miss her so much. Sigh.

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