I’m very lonely right now. Nothing interests me except Ms. Sexy X. I can’t help it. For guys that can just eject and go to another – I don’t have anything against guilt free one night stands as that’s all whatever to me (I do despise cheaters.) It’s just not my cup of tea. I rather have some sort of relationship and I’m fine by that. In this case I have a well established relationship which is much more than I could ask for and I love it.
How do I know she’s perfect for me? When I don’t want sex, I don’t want money, I don’t want expensive stuff, I don’t want power, I won’t let friends or family come in the way… none of that shit interests me like she does. Granted, it’d be nice to have all the luxuries especially sex but I’d forever be satisfied just being in her company. Just to lay next to her and talk or just be silent and stare into each other’s eyes. I know every guy out there would be thinking “what the fuck?” Yeah, it crosses my mind and yet it’s like I’m living in ecstacy so is it really all that crazy? She’s the one, I know it. I’ll work on getting the other stuff later but the most important part of everything is her. So I say to all the haters out there FUCK YOU and FUCK IT ALL. I’m doing what makes me happy and what makes her happy.
I probably didn’t make a lick of sense. I can’t get to sleep and had to type this out. You know there’s sadness and depression and anxiety over this whole situation that I’m dealing with. And yet for all that I’m happy to an extent and she’s soon to be happy which is what I want. Will we both be happy as we could be for now? Nah. Will we in the future? Gawd, I hope so. Any day with her is a good day so while I’m going through tough times, they’re certainly lightyears better than the alternative.
I love her that deeply. I miss her. :-(
