I keep slipping into nothingness. It’s really difficult to explain how I feel right now. It’s not depression, at least not the traditional depression. I am sad and I do feel like crying but that won’t come. I’m worried. I yearn for a phone call, to just hear her voice. On that same token I’m deathly afraid she might say something I don’t want to hear given the last two times she’s called. That said, I honestly don’t think I have anything to worry about but my anxiety will do that to me no matter what. It’s stupid, I know.
I’m about to leave to go where she was but is no more. That sucks big time. She’ll be back sometime but after I’ve left. I’m trying hard but I don’t know what to do.
I want to wrap myself in her and breathe every trickle of her into me. I want to feel her running through my veins with each pulse of her heartbeat.
And yet I’m stuck her. Why do I feel like I’m treading water but in quicksand?
