I feel like a zombie right about now. It’s not for lack of food or sleep, I’m getting plenty of both. Perhaps not as much as I should but it’s enough. It’s the weight bearing down on me. Have you ever noticed how depression so closely resembles opression? This yoke is heavy and I can’t shake it. It’s not as bad as it can be, I recognize that but it’s getting tougher and tougher to stave it off.
I still haven’t talked to Ms. Sexy X, we’re going on 19 days now. This is without a doubt the longest amount of time with zero communication. I don’t understand. The last time we talked everything seemed fine. What the hell is going on? I’m honestly scared out of my wits. I have one fear and this is it, pinging hard. I’m trying so very hard but I have no idea what to do? How do I get in touch with her? I decided if it goes three weeks I’m taking the third option which is no guarantee at all. My heart is racing a million miles a hour in complete worry for her.
I left a voicemail just now. I don’t know what to do. I’m at a loss. Did I do something wrong? Like I said, last time we talked she seemed to be in a wonderful mood and everything was fine. Then nothing. What the hell does that mean?
UPDATE: On suggestion of a friend he told me to take option 3. Afterall, her mom is an emergency contact and I might as well. I hope it sounded cordial and not too desperate. I’m more scared of her not answering than anything else as far as the email goes. I’m more scared if for some reason MSX is mad at me for something… though I can’t imagine what.
