I don’t think anyone appreciates the pressure I’m under. I’m dealing with my own shit right now. From my love life to my work life to just life in general. My mom calls to mourn over the dog. That’s fine and I let her but I had told her the other night that I’d rather not think about it right now. She also starts talking religion which she knows I just don’t want to hear that. But I did what any good son would do, I suppose, and I just listened. I let her get it out. Sure I’m worried about her and her depression but what can I do? I have my own fucking depression that I’m battling off each and every single day. Today I’m doing well. I also had my friend text and call me yesterday because he has problems with money, breaking up, and his mom. I’m trying to help him because I don’t like to turn my back on anyone but fuck if I need a break. I listened to him although I had no advice to offer either.
I don’t know what to do. It’s another day without talking to Ms. Sexy X, I’m always worried for her. So that’s bearing down on me hardest. I can live with it, I just look to the next day and hope she says the word. I’m not fooling myself because it’s probably 2 months out or more but fuck it. She may just say “fuck it” and say the word so I can go out there. I really hope she does. But that’s all whatever. I’ll wait.
Right now I’m just looking forward to grilling a few burgers, drinking my Pepsi, and watching a movie. Beyond that I have no fucking clue what I’m doing. I’m just trying to kill another day so that I’m closer to my darling.
I bought a gross of Pepsi. Why? The 12 packs were on sale for $1.99, how could I possibly pass that up? It’ll last me a few months at one to two a day. I’m allowed a vice so back off. I brush my teeth 3 times a day too.
The burgers I make are delicious. I prefer them rare though on occasion I’ll cook all the way up to medium well as they’re still juicy. I pat them out into quarter pounders, I add garlic powder, cayenne pepper, and Famous Dave’s seasoning to them. I grill to desired doneness and then add a slice of swiss and that’s all she wrote. It’s very tasty.
Before I forget, the Miami/Florida State University game was excellent last night. I’m more of a defense person so the Steelers are naturally fun to watch. That game had some good defensive plays but the secondary was young and weak for both sides so there was a LOT of deep passing plays. Regardless, the points didn’t get too far out of control because each team’s defense made some nice stops here and there. The kicker for FSU shanked 2 and then made the rest. It went to the very last second where Ponder threw a low pass but it was catchable. The receiver dropped it in the endzone. I liked seeing Miami win. My question is what the hell the coach was thinking by not calling a timeout and wasting 20 seconds? That prevented getting a running play or two in. Piss poor coaching.
