I am stuck in a mire of incompleteness. I’m not advancing nor am I doing anything to advance. I don’t even need to ask why. I know why. I’m waiting. I’m in a stasis filled with anticipation. I’m considering options of this and that, whatever they may be but I don’t act on anything. No, not yet. The end of October can’t come quick enough. I don’t even know what’s going to happen then nor do I know what’s going to happen after that. Sure the uncertainty makes me super nervous, I’m the king of nervousness at times. But this long wait and now the upcoming anticipation negates most of that feeling. I’ll be nervous, I am thinking about it now. But it will finally be a relief to do what I’ve wanted to do for so long now. I just need to be with her.
I’m restless. I need to be out of this state. It’s been great but I need to be doing my own thing. That was to happen 4 months ago but things went sideways. No more. It’s here and now and when I say “now” I guess I mean soon. Fuck it.
