It sure ain’t margaritaville, that’s for damned sure.
I’m a tad upset. Not at my darling. More so at myself for getting my expectations up so that they may crash down. I know things don’t work out at times, so why do I do it? Everyone deserves some hope. I’m not sure why she didn’t call. I might ask her, I might not. Is it important? It is but in a trivial way I suppose. All I know is she said “maybe” which is usually yes but not always. This was just one of those times. Fuck. I just want to be with her, from the depths of my gut, my mind, my soul… whatever the hell you want to call it I have this urge to be with her and it is guided by pain for every second I’m not. Since I can’t be, talking with her is the only thing that subsides it. I love hearing her and taking her in, she relaxes me and makes me feel wonderful. She is a great person and I LOVE listening to her. I love talking with her. She’s so intelligent, she won’t let me dote on her a lot but I still do – and do I ever! Anyone that talks down to her doesn’t realize what a fool they really are.
I don’t expect her to call today. I’m not depressed or down (well maybe a tiny bit) but that’s because I won’t let it get to me. Thus far it has been a beautiful day. It feels like fall with the wind and temperature though the temperature is a bit warm and humid… but it still feels like autumn. Another light rain is coming down. I’ll go stand out in it after this post. I often stand in the rain, I’ve done it before but moreso now because it reminds me of my Ms. Sexy X.
I’m sort of a traditionalist if that’s the right word. I treat women with respect and dignity. I want to be one of those that gets the door for her, walks on the left side of her, protects and shields her. I know she likes that. I also know she is feircely independent which I love about her too. So I have to balance that and it is very tricky. I don’t want to offend her by making her feel helpless, my god she is faaaar from that. I am pretty sure it is a guy thing, probably in our instinct. Women do funny things and it can be irritating but I laugh. She’s not infallible to them though she tries. I’m the same way, I don’t try to do somethings but I still do. The important part is we work on it and we don’t get too razzed about it. She’s so completely understanding that it’s remarkable. She is THE perfect woman for me.
Do I love her? YOU BET!
