I’m trying to add a Google search bar here just to offset the cost of this. It’ll be nothing special, hopefully it might just cover the cost, if nothing else maybe I’ll get some pennies out of it. The problem I’m having is getting the code on here. Since I just used some sort of auto setup stuff for WordPress now I have to figure out how to get the code on this page. I’ve dealt plenty with computers and programming but I’ve gotten lazy and I really, really don’t care to learn more. I’m done with programming but now I’m looking for an answer without trying to learn. I want a quick fix. Ugh.
Today has been a good day. I woke up happy and I was looking forward to a call all day. Now she didn’t say she’d call today but I was kind of hoping she would. I wanted her to call on my lunch but she didn’t. Like I said she went out shopping. That’s fine by me. :-) I assume she’s home by now but I don’t know if she shall call or not. I’m betting she might fall asleep.
The only thing that got to me today was a little chest pain. I’m not sure why. That was surprising as I was far from stressed out, especially today. I was feeling a little upset later on when I got to thinking about our situation and how it went so wrong. I was thinking of how I was planning things to go so perfectly and then a huge ass wrench was just thrown in. But that’s life and unfortunately it’s unfair at times. Things will be rectified though. I will be with my Ms. Sexy X, I love her with all of my heart. The thing that bugs me is how lonely I am. I see other couples walking around. I see them with kids, I see wedding photos, vacation photos, etc. I can’t stand to look at them. It’s not fair, that should be us making memories together. We should be, it shouldn’t be postponed like it is. That kind of stuff just gets to me and then coming home to an empty house and empty bed. I hate it. I look for her but she isn’t here. I’d cut across the big blue sky straight to her right now if she’d say the word. That one little word. Fuck. She knows it, it’s been on the tip of her tongue many times before, I know it has been. Ha, I’m getting all huffy again. This sucks!
Work was dead today. I don’t mind it really. I mean I get paid to essentially do nothing… then again I’m getting paid practically nothing so I guess it equals out. But it gives me lots of time to just sit there and think about MSX. What can I say? I love it! Sure, I’ll be sad from time to time thinking about the above but I’m always smiling when I think of her. She makes me feel like I have a million sunrises swelling up inside of me. :-D
Sometimes I question why I couldn’t have met her sooner. God, I wish could have but then I realize the timing was perfect for the both of us. The only thing that messed things up was the development of this “situation.” It sucks but it happened and we have to both fight through it together. Perhaps I’ll go into that someday – sooner or later I know not.
I know I want to be with her forever. There isn’t a doubt in my mind. :-)
